Imagine if a child is ignored every time fae speaks and is never allowed to finish a thought.
When fae shows faers true self to the world and then is told that fae is wrong.
When nothing fae says-when fae is finally allowed to speak-seems to be right do you really think fae will be inclined to speak?

When that child is taken from the only home fae knew and is brought to a new family-only to find this "mother" doesn't truly love them.
When fae finds out that living there brings this "mother" money.
When fae is taken from that home and placed in a new, when knowing that faers mom doesn't know how to take care of faer and daddy is gone, knowing fae is there as a last resort....knowing that her presence in this house is a burden on this new family.
Believing fae is unwanted and unloved, do you really think this child really knows how to express faers emotions?
Would you be surprised if fae closed faeself off, lost all desires, refused to let faeself appear needy or moody so that no one would think faer a burden?
Scared of being hurt, terrified of being abandoned. So all fae does is smile-even if inside faer's dying.

Now imagine if this child only ever saw faer parents fight-only ever heard them screaming...never truly saw love in any of faers homes. Do you think fae will really know love?
If fae only saw problems solved by violence then saw this violence hurt people.
When fae had no real teacher, with no one to guide her-learning only from disjointed experiences.
Imagine the world moves so fast around faer and fae can't change a thing, things passing by before the child has a chance to understand-leaving the child bumbling through life.
Just trying to get by.
Now this child, shaped by faer environment, not knowing anything else, is suddenly asked to change.
Fae is trying to change because faer nature tells faer fae must change to keep the Asker close, but it isn't that easy.

When old habits die hard and the child is pulled between two entities, arms sore and emotionally tired.
When the child has yet to catch up to faer peers and still has a lot of learning to do.
Hoping that the Asker will understand that fae has yet to find faer path.

When the child is still wandering, unchanging, pathless and the Asker is impatient, waiting, pushing.

The Asker never understood and couldn't wait for the child to find faer path.

When the child never changed and couldn't provide answers for the Asker.

The Asker asked one more question and decided to ask no more.

The child watched as the Asker walked away.

The asker and the child were both hurt, each their own pain. What hurt the Asker was that they believed the child didn't try.
Imagine the pain that plagued the child
                                                           ­         the Askers last words.    
The  Asker wanted to cure the child's habits like they were a disease or fix faer like fae was broken. Now the asker is gone-bringing us back to the beginning.

The child is left alone again confirming faer own fears.
That in the end, they will all leave-all but faer thoughts.
Now the child has yet to find a place to call home, someone to go to for comfort.
Can you entirely blame faer for how fae turned out?
Are you surprised that this child has become like this considering faer upbringing?

If this child smiles to get you to stay,
will you believe fae is truly happy,
or will you know that faer heart is breaking 
and fae feels like faers dying?

Would you realize
                               that behind faer smile,
                                                          ­           fae is really
                                                                ­                         crying?

It is true darkness that congregated in the corners of my room that night
And I could not recognize it, only knowing its cousin
Who hovers by streetlights and candles

Deep down, I've always known that the fae dance across my face and talk about me as I fell asleep
I knew what this was, though I did not know enough to fear the messenger
I knew this was a summons
A summons to the moonlight world that shadows the world we know and love

Suddenly, we are far beyond my bedroom
Traipsing through an electric, thorn-filled jungle
My stomach begs loudly of hunger, but it barely registers
With the amount of static sounding in the air
We walk on pathways stripped from the northern lights, pinks and greens, without solid footing
Magnetized forward faster and faster
To destiny

My feet bleed and the true darkness closes behind me, devouring the evidence of my red-stained path

A mist that I had never noticed dissipates
And I see the mushrooms
They glow ghost-white, towering tall as trees
Standing sentinel in a circle, the guardians of such laughter and music as you could never describe-
The music!
It is shattering crystal, raging rivers, and the death song of birds all at once
The darkness pushes me into the circle, and I whirl and twirl to its sound
The erratic beat taking over my heart ryhthm
I throb with its energy, my hands begin emitting their own glow
And the fae begin to take more form around me, in silvers and golds

The music screeches and my heart skips a beat
The circle begins to rumble
Mortal girl comes the echo
My skin feels the kiss of acid rain
You should not have come here
This place is not for the likes of you
A fae with a wreath of thorns adorning its head steps forward
Darkness burning in the sockets where once there may have been eyes

I cannot speak, its stare melting my lips into my face
You have seen too much, you have danced with us
Tell me why I should not hold you here
I look away, desperately trying to gather my thoughts and my voice
The fae would not care about my family, my friends
It would not care about my dreams
The true darkness caresses my hair and I hear its sharp laughter

"I-" I begin

The laughter cuts away, the static dies and my voice hangs in the vaccuum
"I was brought here, by you I presume"
I dare to look the dark fae in the eyes
"I was a dreamer enough to follow"
"You wish to challenge us humans, your endless source of amusement"
"Our torture is your game"
The fae concedes with a thoughtful nod
"But there is no greater torture than to know this place and never come back" I finish
The fae chuckles, as I bite my lip

Clever mortal it mocks
Indeed, go home. I banish you from my lands
May you suffer it adds with a smile

And I am cold
I fall from my bed in a tangle of blankets
In my ear, I hear the wriggling of music
It never quite goes away
The darkness smirks at me from the corners
And I cry softly
For who has ever willingly given up on the fae?
But I hear my sister waking up and I start to smile, despite my sacrifice
For how very few have met the fae and lived?