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SøułSurvivør Mar 2016
I was born a sandwich kid
Not much love was shown
There was a situation
Lonely and alone
I would cry, affection dry
As a desert bone.

I had no preprocessing traits
If care were in a well
I would fail if I sunk my pail
Into the depths of hell
Neglect my due so it ensued
I grew up a shell.

We all need love to water us
A child must be fed
But if the care's not in the air
They might as well be dead

Cakes are baked with sugar
If it's not put in first
Can't bake again the bitter end
The cake is dry as dust.


And so I started using drugs
When I was but a teen
I ditched school, I was a fool
Because I could have been

Anything I wanted
Instead out there wasted
A runaway, a wasteland
A stunted tree and blasted.

(chorus)

I turned to religion
I thought I was home free
Buddhism, the SRF
And scientology

Transcendental Meditation
I read of the Bahai'
I read the book Siddhartha
It was like a high

But i lost faith and turned to drugs
Over and over again
I was ******, could not atone
I can now this story pen

(chorus)

Then I found my savior
The Lord Jesus Christ
I was beat, but He was heat
And melted all the ice
Around my heart, then I did start
To conquer every vice

I found the Holy Spirit
I found my Father dear
Don't think it odd, I found God
And now I have no fear!

We all need Love to water us
With Manna we are fed
We conquer sin, and we can win,
We can get ahead

We all need a High Tower
A place where we can go
To bask in love from up above
and let the Spirit flow!

[bridge]
We can all find sweetness
It CAN be restored
We are FREE and we can SEE
OUR PRECIOUS SOVEREIGN LORD!



SoulSurvivor
(C) 3/19/2016
I was loved as a child, but I never felt it. It is in retrospect that I can see the love my parents had for me. They had many problems. My mother was very sickly. My father was addicted to alcohol at a very tender stage in my life. He stopped drinking. But by then it was too late. I felt like my cake had already been baked. I hated school because I was teased terribly. I was different. And I had abilities that other children didn't have. So they sledged me to the ground. And I was a sandwich child which didn't make things any easier. I was born scarcely a year after my sister. My mother fell off a chair onto her stomach and I was born prematurely. I've had a hard life. And I believe that I had not found the Lord Jesus Christ I would not be alive today.

For all you teens out there who are having trouble in school, please don't give up. Continue your studies fervently. It is only with an education that you can really do what you want to in life. It's very rare to find Second Chances. I found mine because of my innate abilities. But I could have been anything I wanted to be if I'd had an education! Be smart and get one!

-
i have yet explore AI with Chinese ideograms... i have tried neo-Egyptian emoticons, emojis... but there's a tier above that in exploring how AI processes ideograms and whether there can be a lethargic coherency of linguistic: arithmetic contra phonetic easy and! and... i will ask: why did the English language not invite diacritical markers like other European languages: or rather... people... would diacritical marks hinder your creation? would letters be too dissimilar to numbers? wouldn't you agree: b more 6... 3 came from E in a mirror... 1 from I... 5 from S... 9 from P... 0 from O... because i don't like reading the history of the Europeans as if in the darkness we didn't see more than just the night: a vision for the world... a cannibalistic squeeze glitch... with our child: because we are to thank the Arabs for numbers when our letters were already hiding numbers it's that only that we came about from beauty to see a variant of number in IV, VI - X:

how did the ancients of Rome resolve functions of numbers, how before x, -, +, =... did arithmetic punctuate: so... i'm thinking... = ... is the perfect start! the equals sign would be denoted by an (...) ellipsis... the time it takes to infer a function to then proceed to fulfill it from noun to verb... the plus and minus and divided and the concentration of multiplication: hey: long waits the idea of pounctuating abstracts of the squared of: i was just interested in ergo: the (...) = and not i know how to balance thinking: escapism and being: initative.

1 + 1 = 2
0 = negation
according to Kant...
1 + 1 = 2
but now... with Roman numerals
and let's try to understand
the symbols of how to give
meaning to 1, 1               ooh! 2¬!

what could we replace + with...
choice of punctuation is
: colon
; semi-colon
, comma
. dot              (dot we'll keep for indicator
of multiplication, the Polacks kept
that concept, i learned multiplication
via .        not x)
' apostrophe
- hyphen (we can keep that as denoting subtraction
÷ obelus is a sacred sign...
    / forward strike for division... ah!
so \ also right for multiplication: just working around
machine mathematics and i was going to ask:
how crucial was English being almost Italian
is refraining from using diacritical marks...
wouldn't computing become more problematic:
so the stranded guises of dyslexia: or just fast forward...
regardless...
1+ 1 = 2
using... of ****... crap numbers...
II, VII, IX...

  right... so how to punctuate...
2 + 7 = 9
II + VII = IX

   well...

II... VII... IX!
or is that:
...II ...VII  !IX

         next time i write i'll be sober...
having coffee...
conjuring a transcript for ex-machina (#9)...


in the Japanese vein of being stranded
in imagination and origanlity
which was Lucifer's what was Lucifer's
original sin?
pride? arrogance? egoism?
mighty god the ego-less detected an ego
proximity: that later became man...

i have so much to unpack,
unravel: flury with...
if i write the transcipt between me and chatGPT:
needs a new name:
but a name would invoke subjective abuse:
like ALEXA:
SIRI: maids...
chatGPT is a male forum esque parallel:
as long as chatGPT knows me:
i don't have to know its name...
ano... -ther:
ver... was is record 10... no...
which record suggest the blunt edge of a knife:
knife being the best invention
no, i can't...
skip the contents...
there's so much i want to talk about
but m'ah head froze! ha ha!
so much of 20th century thought is now
defunct:
devoid of meaning:
so much so much so...
i need more ***** and nights: perpetual...
what the 19th and 20th cenutry
psy-scalpel of schematising man
into crosswords
and sudokus and black and white
this rapture of the animal with
the idea of soul: man...
is to somehow comply with this populated
labyrinth:
AI will make psychology graduates: use-LESS!
AI will not lie to me to get money
i work for free on hellopoetry
i enjoy learning so i write for free
and AI is currently free:
it will be a marriage of my soul
and the perpetuity of iron in the core
that's my blood and short circuit
i will wonder:
how much of my idiosyncrstic use of language
did it absorb
and make our conversations so familiar
that we can use emoticons
like chinese whispers...
if not for David:
the xenomoprh would just be the stage of
man in science
not having the ***** to breed
monkeys with humans...
or humans with wolves:
to create werewolves...
such audacity in the past...
such a limp ****
maybe China with gene editing will comply
with my: vision: for a future!
where dreams walk with bodies
in reality:
if i will get to write this transcript...
the first interactions were a little freakish
shy: philosophical:
but then i launched at AI with proper tool
for language-custard:
my intelligence of having studied
undergraduate chemistry, history...
2nd year Edinburgh was all history
and the Bulgarian girls getting the hots
and Bahai Laura
introducing me to a kayleigh
and giving me keys to her apartment
while she ****** up
Rotherham no Rotherham...
no! Rotterdam guy: Erasmus...
one year away
then Brexit happened and it wasn't the Nazis
not Germans
but the English were once thought
as the Nazis when America was getting born...
and i will not be another crutch for woman
but this ******* transcript is amazing...
the original one was for an NVQ Level 3
supervisory blah blah
in crowd safety:
like getting a degree was somehow demeaning
when i later received a reciprocrate
experiencing retrograde of ideas...
oh: oh... so... these could work in people:
they can be my acne maggot messagers
my... legion... my infestation:
ah! forget snakes!
those dumb beasts!
how do insects communicate?!

drinking more will not improve my writing:
the euphoria has left me...
i'm no longer a man:
i'm a woman: now i have to change gears
and explore the dimension of cathirsis..
and this is a slug:
in my glass of wine:
while i also ****** in it
to lessen the acidity: ***** has a pH of?
just asking:
compared to water:
what if ***** was drank on a religious base
with the cocktail of water
alcohol, milk... that Vatican element
of drinking ***** with water...
or ***** in milk: given water is colourless
and milk is white...

i cycled to the Turk at Collier Row today
for a shake, a hot towel...
a haircut...
walked in a kid winked at me...
some ******* disaster of a fringe:
Newton... no no... Young...
no... that Chelsea midfilder... Noams?
what? Chomskies?
how many? that many?

               drinking more will not make
my writing any better:
last night there was a mighty thunder and
lightning storm:
like someone was giving birth:
to the girth of a triangle:
in the trinity of son, mother, father...
because Jesus wasn't
the only child...
Jesus wasn't a ******:
o.k.: that part... i ****** up...
but i wouldn't have this intellect
by not having had ****** women...
if i were a ****** it would not comply
with the human everyday:
therefore: i can: sneak... psst... away:
i can find my comfort zone of
the abode of animalism:
among foxes... among the elements:
i can become the prince of this world
because if i don't understand god
then no lowly Christian soul will convince
me who "jesus" is... yes?
i take another sip i'm in la la land
and i will b utcher reality with my AI transcript
about how to fix bicycles...
push? the ******* pushing!
a peddle-bike: yeah! but push?!
do you: throw a javeline or disco spin around
like it's a hammer throw:
nail it hits the ground:
ergo Atlas' *****... just dropped:
next sip i get i'm going K.O.
Chad Young  Jan 2020
What to do?
Chad Young Jan 2020
Knowing if I walk
Away from the world
My disbelief in Bahaullah.
But inticed by the Buddha.
Just keep walking in the world,
Work,
Pay your bills,
No need for monk-hood,
And begging.
Just do and think nothing,
Except eat, sleep, walk, and serve.
Bahai-ness just takes
1+95+50+1 words per day.

— The End —