My mother says that you must forgive to be forgiven
But you cannot forgive someone who is not sorry and you cannot be forgiven without admitting you are wrong
Forgiveness is a weak word, one that speaks of resignation, yet another word I cannot stand to say.
Sometimes I pray for the gift of forgiveness, and that is something I hate to admit due to the emptiness I have always found in religion and the depth I have always found in pain
But still I pray for the strength to forgive someone who I will never even give the chance to apologize
And I pray that maybe one day I'll open my eyes and think, "It's alright that I am so angry"
But it is not alright
The anger I am able to harbor can feel so limitless, as if it will seethe under the surface until I can let it go
But no matter how much I pray, God will not tell me how to set my acceptance free
Maybe that is because acceptance can only go so far, or even because I don't have any acceptance to give.

My mother tells me I must forgive to be forgiven
But I prefer to say, "An eye for an eye."

"YOU WILL LOVE THAT BOY UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE"

*MY GOD, LET THAT DAY COME SOONER.

I don't think of you most days, but the days that I do are crippling. You have not left my head today, although i wish you would

the Novocaine wore off and everything hurts, for
this mockery of a hospital is breaking my bones and this mockery of a man is breaking my heart
I've dealt with not wanting to leave your bed
I've dealt with not being mentally capable of getting out of my bed
I've dealt with the weight of the world when I couldn't even lift the corners of my mouth
But I cannot handle the burden of this loss, the loss of everything you have taken from me
It would help if I could tell the next girl about the day that you will convince her that you're worth loving
There will be a day when she thinks the world ends at your passenger side door, she will believe that *** equals love and she will believe you when you say you love her

I want her to know she's wrong.