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Jayne E May 2020
mornings scribble while the rain drizzles...

vulnerability
fragility
gracility
being strong all the time
day to day
month to month
year to year
feeds the need
to sometimes be
less
less than strong
less in control
feeds the need
to release the lead
let the bruise
become the soothe
yield to the bleed
release feeding
into deep peace

© J.C.
  May 2020 Jayne E
Thomas W Case
I slept beneath
a mad hatter moon and
dreamed of a big blue
tarantula swimming in
a yellow moss
covered pond. A rat
terrier passed me a note:
Mercy and love
are
fleeting, they fade away
like the
tangerine sun; they
are lies like
the dead bulls under
a ****** red
Spanish sky.
I asked his name,
"Mendacity" he said,
then turned into a
pack of
cigarettes, no matches,
no lighter…

I drank from the
pond and became a
sunflower.
Vincent shot
me with his
lonely cornfield gun.
He sat down and smoked
his pipe, as crows
lied
lied
lied.
He said with sad, iris eyes,
"It's impossible to ****
a mermaid, or eat
a starry night."
It's the impossibility
of a thing that
drives one
mad;
like a mustang
caught for the
circus, but always
dreaming of escape to
the thundering
fields of its youth.
I saw toothless
orphans throw rooks at
his soul, as those beautiful
eyes saw way too much…
I want to
pound
it in,
drive it dripping
home through the
core
of a rose, to the
bottom
of the tulip. I'll
get drunk on
nectar of the god's, then
reject immortality. (Who wants to live forever?)

There has been a drastic
Mistake.
I see it at the
zoo in the
monkeys caged,
glazed eyes.
No wonder they
throw ****
at people.
"Such lies, " he said.
"The artichoke, avocado, and
algebra; the small of
a woman's back and
the emerald head of
the hummingbird."
"If the artichoke and
avocado are lies" I said,
"then truth is the
tight, tasty, creamy
green line that
refuses to settle or waiver;
delirious, delicious."

"No" he said, as
his hands stroked
that lice ridden
crimson beard.
"It's conception and
growth, then cast
out
****** and naked
cut from the
cord,
and a lifetime spent
trying to return
to the womb, **** first,
but only spilling and
spreading the
nightmare of being,
the fever of living, to
another
sorry soul that didn't
ask for it.
I woke up,
drained the elixir,
and starred at
Vinnie's self portrait,
the one with
bandaged ear, and
I
thought…
Yea,
God is into practical jokes.
Jayne E May 2020
on your walk to the sun
one hand razed
devastating its glare
heat cracked glaze
by your steely stare
to pave crazed
you are
auditing orbits
threw black dotted sight
fully loded
petal to metal
the ferrous wheel turns
your sun
burns
burns
burns
ironing out
years etched in creases
seared skin stretched tight
you per severe
perpetual
motion never ceases
at knifes edge of night
presque vue too
as peripheral quick
silver sends mecurial
maidens dancing
along contrails
dusted
in shimmering bright
phase two
blends no rhyme
con fused by light
fade to black
we run out of time
blinded out of sight.

© J.C.
Jayne E May 2020
Once a lovers heart has
taken a few knocks
endured those
deep cardiac shocks
demurred
at chance advances
all in the wake of
the greatest heartbreak

it becomes and unbecomes
it depends on the unbend
the waver set in place
and we lose more
precious drops of time
rather than lose face
with it our grace
it's how goes I know

after your greatest love
is gone leaving all fallow
the idea or very thought
of love burning to nought
too much to bear once more
so we shut tight the door
consequence ourself
into situation is this...

now possibly on the shelf
for the long haul
expiry date unknown
seeking but not keeping
looking but not leaping
forsaking for fear of breaking
apart again that pain of all pain
deeply gnawed in our soul
took too much of a toll
to entertain in your heart again.

I get it I get it... But...
how then to reset it?
I want to feel brand new
un-know what I did do
un-feel the pain of you
believe in not one but two
I get it... I get it...
but cannot just forget

the devastation my heart met
when true love slipped the net
turned this heart to dust
eroded trust to rust
so now I know I must I must
be sure before I entrust
and go soft go gentle steady
only once this heart is ready.

© J.C.
This was written before I met my love....time is a wonderful thing...
Jayne E May 2020
I want to reveal
my underbelly
to you
that soft warm
sweet spot
I want to expose
all of my
vulnerable places
to you
trust you'll
not slide the blade in
twist it at the hilt
tearing the silk at its seams
set my world to tilt
I want to get lost
in your forest floor eyes
be mesmerised
by flecks of amber fire
press my belly against
your belly warm
feed the desire deep
so ferociously sweet
like a raging tropical storm
surrender control
give over to it let go
lose myself with you
in the tumble and roll
lean into your swell
not needing to know
where the compass is drawn
float on a current of love
through inked velvet night
to warm golden dawn
I want to flood my senses
with the taste of your essence
imprint my skin with your scent
set you apart
my diurnal rhythms tuned
to the beat of your heart
journey your body
with my lips
my tongue
my body and fingertips
map you with kisses
chart your territories
with caresses
stroke your skin
with my loosened
fallen tresses
shipwreck myself
on the island of your bones
lay my head upon your chest
feel your metronomic pulse
the soothe & rest
of your breath on my brow
breathe you in
as my air
rain kisses on you
everywhere
until my lips bruise
and smart
all pain
ceased to exist
the moment
you gave me
your love
and stole my heart.


© J.C.
Jayne E May 2020
voices.

our bodies
once their
quintessential best
thought indefectible
the flourish
of faultless skin
now faintly etched
into the map
of our experiences
we change
shapeshift
rearrange
relax into our form
less perfect
more confident ease
than tempestuous storm

the human voice
though
stays forever
the same

7 years
silence broken
you were 22
again
at first word
spoken
tricked
into hearing you
using pet names
you'd long ago lost
the right to utter
speaking easy
as if none of it happened
still with your
smooth charm
like butter
that silken voice
abstracting my choice
once more

did you
(conveniently)
forget the
slaughter house
you made of our love
left it bleeding out
a good kick and a shove
in the gutter

you pour it on thick
like molasses
oozing
off your tongue
"remember em's?"
"when we were young...
....and in love?"
remember...
"my alpha & my omega
nose & toes
under cover lovers.."

My jaw still clicks
at times
when I'm tense
(like now)
a souvenir
click click click...
as your jaw *****
that
you miss me
that
we should
'get together'...
....'for old times sake'
did you forget
I'm filled with regret
or just miss
some of my bones
to break?

Sunday  morning
+
one bourbon too many
+
a sentimental lament
your bent
=
a return to nervousness
night terrors
& cold panic
for me.

Your voice
just as it was
unchanged
by time
you say so
is mine
forgetting
loves fruit
rotted on the vine
the pull of
your ocean eyes
scented nape
of your neck
the warmth
your body lent
to mine
not enough
to untangle the tendrils
or merge again
the unentwined
good try
but the point now
forever moot
head fuckery
at its best
always was
your strong suit

© J.C.
Apologies, to those who read before the tweaks.. I was not quite happy with this one, so this is the 3rd edit...lol...some don't come so easy or just flow out of the pen, especially those which are painful to pen...appreciate your patience & understanding.. J.**
Jayne E Apr 2020
It's that time again
in the endless night
when shadows unfurl
and time unbends

it's that time once more
deep in the inky black well
where the empty side of my bed
chasmic yawn slams loves door

It's that time in the night
when the monsters come out
dream creeping and steeping
no escape try as I might

It's that time the witching hour
where my past is now present
old ghosts come to torment
each breath taken tastes sour

It's that time hands stop dead
moments freeze like sloe ice
shadows moving in the dark
haunting thoughts in my head

It's that time in this night
only one thing can make it right
not out of mind yet out of sight
your loving arms holding me tight.

© J.C.
nightmares, haunting memories, insomnia, love, missing you, needing your touch.
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