why can't you figure out how to unravel her mind
as quickly as you do the straps holding up her dress
unlucky for you,
the girl you've laid eyes on
craves the tenderest kind of sweetness
the kind you only find wrapped
in trust and innocence.
if you asked me,
I'd say,
            "honey, you're looking for love in the wrong place"
yet, your eyes dart down instead of up into the light
but see, even then, I don't think you’re blind
you're simply complacent
unable to see your debility
in recognizing true, mysterious beauty
for where your eyes see *******
lies a soul, a chasm
of infinite depth,
illuminated by sunlight.
if you were able to finally see it,
you'd quiver and shake in delight.

GATHERING WATER

Never having
encountered one

before
except in stories

my daughter
begging to be

taken to
the well

the source
of all

her fascination
a magical tale in itself

letting the bucket
fall into the nothingness

that soft splash
as if

from a different
universe

& she
a charmed girl

the well
eating her pebbles eagerly

greedily

as if it were
hungry

for her wonder

the delayed...plop
enthralling her

and again…and...again
even when our store of water

miraculously grows
and we have more water

that we can shake a stick at

she orders
(or commands rather)      

“Come…father
let us go & gather

water! ”

And I
(ha ha “Father! ” is it now)      

get up
& go

gather water
with my little daughter

enchanted by the fairytale
of her laughter.

*

On holiday from the real world and living in the wild where our only source of water was a well…it became a ritual to collect firewood and go to the well for water. We would do both of these together and Tilly blended the gathering of sticks with the other task and so we also “gathered” water!

In her fairy stories where Kings were called “Father” by young princesses she also elected to call me “Father! ” which used to reduce her mother to convulsions of laughter.

Tilly as well as being a real live girl was also for me a fairy tale happening in real time.

I saw everything anew through the beauty of her mind.

Birds have no shape,
they are everything
and they are nothing
wind and rain and trees
the scent of the breeze
tall dried grass
seeds which land
on full and fallow ground
an ocean heart that beats within us all
the sound of nature’s call
whatever the future holds
when shadows fall
and footsteps are dust
there will be birds

From my 20’s through my 40’s I was the very definition of svelte. Willow thin but shapely, smartly dressed at all times in what would be the next new trend coming down the fashion pipeline. I mingled with people who dabbled in fame and some of it rubbed off on me. In those days I moved in exciting circles. It was painful to watch the years take it away, one increment at a time.  The waistline expanded, new styles appeared ugly, and star studded lovers moved on. I did what I could to hold onto the shine, but I found other mountains to climb.  I conquered new vistas and gathered some trophies, while minutes and years slipped away. So subtly I didn’t pay much attention, I became an old lady who hates having to dress for her age. And refuses.

I still have the photos that prove I was lovely, but no one is asking to see them. I still have the outfits that no longer fit me; they hang in the closet to taunt me.
I’ve learned to make peace with the milieu I live in.  I’m still the svelte damsel inside. I dress in bright colors and billowing fabrics and leave the self judgement behind.
ljm

I sleep with my glasses,
so, I can see in my dreams
the moment you left me,
it's all part of the scene.
So, the jockeys, they need me.
I know they will bleed me.
And it's 2 dollars on the
6 horse to show.

The buzzards and seagulls,
they know what you've done.
You said, come on boy,
let's go have some fun.
But that look in your eyes
was full of goodbyes
and now, I'm all but done.
I'm full of regrets
but, it's just one more bet.
And it's 2 dollars on the
6 horse to show.

The clowns and the hookers
got nothing for me.
They took all my money,
oh boy can't you see?
There's just one more bet,
and I'm full of regrets.
and it's 2 dollars on the
6 horse to show.

Bukowski and Hopper
look down on me smiling.
They've been out to sea.
They've been past the islands.
I'm tired of running
and I'm tired of standing still.
Another pill won't do it
and it's time for me to go.
And it's 2 dollars on the
6 horse to show.

You took all my money
on a day that was sunny
and you know them old clowns,
they really aren't funny.
So, I head to the track
to win it all back,
and it's 2 dollars on the
6 horse to show.