I’m a mother
I’m a lover
I am a survivor
Sometimes a liar
I’m a romantic
I’m a book fanatic
I am unorganized
I am clumsy
But you love me
I don’t take things for granted
Sometimes I’m impulsive
Sometimes I mess up
But you don’t give up
I get anxious
I can be careless
I am broken
Without you I would be nothing.

I’m a mother
I’m a lover
I am a survivor
Sometimes a liar
I’m a romantic
I’m a book fanatic
I am unorganized
I am clumsy
But you love me
I don’t take things for granted
Sometimes I’m impulsive
Sometimes I mess up
But you don’t give up
I get anxious
I can be careless
I am broken
Without you I would be nothing.

We’re hanging on by a thread
Its fraying more and more each day
All we keep doing taping it back together
It fixes it for the time being
But keeps coming undone
Will we let it break
Will we keep taping it back together
Will we fix it permanently
Weave the thread until its whole again

Giddy
Happy
Love
Need
That’s what you use to make me feel
Now its just
Hurt
Tears
Doubt
Most days
Except those few that you use your
Smile
Laugh
Heart
Words
To pull me back in
But after a few days it just goes back to
Hurt
Yelling
Screaming
Tears
Doubt
How do I
Escape
How do I start over
2 kids and 7 years later
And all I feel is confused
I want to make it work
I want to start over
We’ve tried and tried
But no matter what I think deep down I know
You’ll just make me feel
Hurt
Doubt
Empty
How do I leave?

Mistakes
Something everyone makes
Something you have made plenty of times
Something you think I am
Empty is the place in my heart
Where you should be
Filled it will never be
You have left me in pieces
Untrusting
Doubtful
Clingy
All because you couldn’t love
All because you are empty
Untrusting
Doubtful
Clingy
I can’t be perfect
I shouldn’t have too be
You should be the one to change for me
Though I won’t hold my breath
I know you wont change
I will just focus on the mom
I want to be

I look in the mirror
Who do I see
That’s my face looking back at me
But who is this girl
She can’t be me
She’s not who she use to be
She use to sing
But she’s lost her voice
She use to draw
But she’s lost her imagination
She use to write
But she’s lost  vision
She didn’t realize she was slipping
She didn’t know she'd feel empty
Who is this girl
Who do I see
What happened to the girl that use to be
Me.

Love is a cycle
It starts out young and beautiful
Exciting and new
It deepens into more
It consumes you
It wavers
Is it worth it?
Sometimes it falls flat
You have to work at it
figure out the kinks
give it your all
It can vanish
Leave you feeling empty
Alone
Don’t give up easily
Love is a cycle
You have to work at it

His Tiny hands holding mine
His Tiny feet  padding across the hardwood floor
His Tiny arms reaching up for me to pick him up
His tiny head laying on my chest while he falls asleep
His sweet laughs when I tickle him
Hell only be little for a little while
But he’ll always be my baby
I just hope that
My hands keep his warm
In my footsteps he will be proud to follow
In my arms he finds comfort and protection
That he'll remember my laugh whenever I’m gone
He’s only little for a little while
My love he will always carry.