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Ryan P Kinney Aug 2021
Anger/stupidity
Cold numb void
Unthinking, emotionless machine
Rage builds up. . .EXPLODE
Want to break, destroy, ****

The look of horror on her face snaps me back to reality
Her shriek of terror, screaming
I’m worthless
How could I do this to her?

Who am I?
Nothing, a monster
Bash my fist into a mirror
The twisted mangle web of glass mirrors my mind

Nothing, there’s no feeling left
The tears stream
The blood gushes from my ****

What did I do to her?
Can’t speak to her?
I deserve nothing
I die
No personality
Just cruelty

The mirror still hangs, shattered
A cold gruesome memory
I don’t deserve her
Skin still embedded in glass
I seen my twisted reflection
The monster I’ve become

Just die. . .
Ryan P Kinney Aug 2021
Sad
Soul Blind Pt. 2
by Ryan P. Kinney

"Dad, Why do you look like you're crying?"

"Oh, you know. Sad things."

"Don't be sad, be happy."

"Both of those are always about you."

"Why?"

"Because when you are not here, I'm sad."
"When you are, I'm happy."
Ryan P Kinney Aug 2021
The (Only) Story
(A Friend Pt. 2)
by Ryan P. Kinney

"So, this is it then?"
"THE END..."

"No, only yours"
"Well, only this part of your story."

"So, What happens now?"
"Where do I go?"

"That's up to you."
"Where do you think you'll go?"

"I guess I hadn't really thought of it."

"It's time to start now."
"We've got places to go."
"Whatever you think, is right somewhere, someplace."
"You write your own story."

"I was too busy living to think about it ending."

"That's the point of it, isn't it."

"So, who are you?

"Oh, you know..."

I DO.
I know her
I guess we all do.
We've known her all along
from
THE BEGINNING...
Ryan P Kinney Jul 2021
Startled, I jump.
I have awoken in a bed. Not mine. I think.
But one that might have been an amalgam of all of them. It smells vaguely of lost loves.

“Hello, Ryan,” I hear from the darkness, once again making me jump. Standing in the doorway is a slight young woman. I could have sworn she wasn’t there a minute ago.

I step towards her. Rather than getting closer she slowly illuminates more, like a dimmer switch and a camera coming into focus simultaneously.
Stark realization overwhelms me. I rush over and close the distance in a blink, wrapping my arms around her, tears trailing behind me. They remain suspended in the air as globules of liquid remembrance.

“Heather?” “I thought you were gone. That we lost you?”

“I am. And so are you.”
“At least for now.”

She pries me from her and pushes back into the darkness.
“Am I dead?”

“Not yet,” she says.

“Are you… You?”

“Sort of.”
“I am the me you remember.”
“Being dead is like this odd disconnected collection of everyone else’s recollection of you. I am what you think I was.”
“The rest of me is in someone else.”
“It’s kinda like God. He/She/It/They are whatever people think they are. Whatever they worship as the divine is. They think therefore are.”

“Is this heaven?”

“No. It’s just me.”

“Are you God?”

“We are all are, kinda.”

“Look, I need to tell you something. Something you’ve lived with your whole life. Without living your whole life.”
“WAKE UP”
Ryan P Kinney Mar 2021
They start slow and methodical
You wonder how a man of such overcharged energy can be this still
until you realize he's analyzing you
figuring out how far he can push it
to take you completely apart
then he unleashes that energy
you realize where it's been hiding
you wonder, “can this man completely consume me”
as his well-crafted hands begin to explore your body
figure out your every piece
you realize, “yes he can”
God I want him to
Ryan P Kinney Feb 2021
I just want your sugar high
Saccarine sticky love notes
Tender, with your honey milky scent
Just love me, like the sucker I am
And let me swallow you whole
Ryan P Kinney Feb 2020
Do not show your dog
On your dating profile pic
Not dating your dog

Sometimes, I think
I love coffee more than *****
It’s still there in the morning

Your love lights me up
Like a neon sign
But it seems, I’m just the moth

(by Douglas Aucoin and Ryan P. Kinney)
If I promise you the moon and the stars
Would you believe it?
I gave a woman this once.
She left me for her own universe.

What if I’m ****** up beyond repair
When the sky falls
And the world crumbles
And I wonder why I still get to wake up

You will just have to learn how to live broken
Make the flaws part of the story
And seal in the cracks with precious golden moments
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