This is social poetry,
The words I let everyone read.
These letters won't cut very deep,
I could write them in calligraphy
Elegantly displaying for all to see.
Look how pretty they sit with me,
A pluffy little piece of parchment
That really said nothing, like a plaque
Purchased from a proper place
Wrapped with lace saying
"You miss all the shots you don't take"

This is social poetry.
The message falls short with time,
Generalizing emotion, pretending to be genuine.
Here's a five word statement, now base it
On life choices, calm the voices, noiseless.
No sir, we are not simple, basic, face it,
We want something real to read and feel
Like we exist in present eyes
And leave that one verse of Corinthians
That people love to quote to be crucified.

This is social poetry,
Where thoughts come to drift
A simple limerick when you need a lift
But when you want to know
About what makes the walls really tick,
I'll hand you my heart in pages to flip.

Ryan drew a monster,
The monster murdered Johnny.
Ryan erased the entire scene in time
To let him hide the body.
Where the chalk lines outline
A crime they never found a sign
Or direction to get a lead.
The chalkboard had a crooked smile
Silently speaking of its feed.

Johnny said he drew a monster,
Once upon a time long ago
Said he spoke the words to me
But those are lies and we all know.
Had he seen the monsters he left
I bet he would've tamed those beasts,
Instead, in present, now they feast.

My thoughts are building like legos
Head burning like el fuego del infierno
Life is calling me, stuck waiting on my turn.
They ask me about passion, what happened?
I'm getting back on track, hadn't you heard?
If all I do is write when free, I hope these words
Will someday sprout me wings
Like birds who talk but we hear them sing.

I linger with my fingers rewritting what I've written
Been called a failure, unrealistic.
But I truly can't be quitting, sadistically
My mind comes back to a poetic side
That drives the rest to put down
What's on my chest, investing time,
To tell, without a sound, this story of mine
In hopes you see my heart in every line

All things in life can be so fragile
Make or break the worlds we know
Entering the darkest days hold up a candle
Reaching light for a path to show
If any were to enter where stars could be rewritten
Can you imagine where we would go?
Anywhere, I know.

Some days it's really hard to exist.
Wake up, turn on the figurative light
Blurring colors with awakened eyesight
As my reoccurring thoughts resurface,
You won't be here for the holidays.
**** my father, I'm not him, I am.
My hair looks a mess, get dressed.
"You've got this" I think to a mirror image.
Hand to the glass like art not finished.
My self-esteem feels diminished.

Listen to an instrumental to gently let the words flow
Out of a skull that's crying too deep
Anymore I've just been straight faced, lost,
My life has a price, tell me the cost please.
What's the number they wrote on my head
I need to know if it's more alive or dead.

Let's let it spill tonight, let's really tell them.
I'm not doing ok, the cuts on my arm
Are not representation of any self harm
But a child I feel I'm failing, I'm failing.
I had a dream that I sunk in too deep,
Felt a push and that sprouted to a leave.
Screaming names like any can be worse
Than the ones I already call me.
I'm still afraid I'll suffocate, not metophoricaly
My lower back is still killing me
But I don't tell because it's just not worth it
Go back to work, the only thing making me not worthless.
I wish my words held any worth at all
To anyone reading, don't fall.

Somedays I wish I had the words
For what makes me feel the strongest things
But I'm afraid they don't exist.

What would I do for a million dollars?
How much time would I let them have?
I could tell you it wouldn't be worth anything,
But security, let's talk maturely, I'd do anything sir.

You want a man killed? Sure.
Who is it I'm wacking?
Sell paraphernalia to people?
Okay, how much are we packing?
Give them all my integrity
Give them everything that makes me, me.
Chain up these arms and pretend to be free.
Sell them my name, Ryan Maroni? I use to be.

I thought about it all for a bit
With a pen in my hand, a chair where i sit.
Looking over the contract, riddled with clauses.
Hand stutter shaking, making my grip tight
I put the pen down and paused.
Then riped up the paper with all of my might.

That look when you say everything is fine
And you're lying with every fiber
Call me a lier, surely I'd deny it.
Don't even try it, look deep in my eyes
We hide the truth, really we don't hide it.
People like the version of a complete person
They just gloss past an aversion
Written on their lips pursed,
Just never spoken by the person.

Listen, you don't even need to listen
There's pain written on expression,
The real thoughts we don't mention,
Those are the ones, no one pays attention.
Singing loud in times of screaming,
Reality slipping so then speak of dreaming.
Writing out the pain instead of bleeding.
His father died, he says his father's fine.
She's knows but lets him go in lie.

This is not the first time I wrote these lines
But how are you?
I just say I'm fine.