Tears of joy

Mid autumn embers

My heart extinguished

By ocean blue eyes

Our sunset love

A beauty to remember

Never dying when we close

The windows to our souls

Forever resting side by side

Eternal lovers in every life to come

She said she's engaged
She says she hates me
Knowing she's only one text away
Keeps my floating on clouds
Cotton fluffs she'll be the only one
To ever place me on
Even if she's married
Two kids and a house her own
She's the only other person
I'd die twice for
I'm like a kid in a candy shop
Knowing I could hear her voice again
Tape recordings in my head
Can finally become digital
Upgrading to a new hard drive
Even if it's only friends
I couldn't love her more now
Then I did 5 years ago
She's my ******
The only drug I'll ever be addicted to
The thump behind my heart
I couldn't tell you enough
Exactly what she means to me
I don't think this smile
Will ever leave my face again
Tag... we're both it
Now we can roll down emerald hills
Laughing and crying
Missing each other
A thing of the past
I'm here to stay
I'll be it forever
As long as she's the one I'm chasing
Cloud 9 surpassed
I'm floating on heavens chimney smoke
Even if she doesn't feel the same
I'm just glad I can say hi again

So why in the hell can't I ******* cry once?

Does it scare you
To realize that your own son
Perhaps your daughter too
Has more wisdom than you
Does it scare you
That even the young have wisdom
Tell me my dear friend
Have you realized
That we have the best insight
Into what our environment holds
Even the young have wisdom
So remember that the next time
You decide to look down at us
When you want to say
We are just stupid little brats
Remember that even the young have wisdom
The next time we give you our opinion

I've told you countless times
You're perfect, amazing, beautiful, gorgeous
Yet when has any of those words actually meant something
You're just too...again nothing comes to mind
I can turn to the dictionary
Read it till something feels right
But I'll read it 11 times before I give up
You're a poem needing to be written
To be heard
Yet how can I do that when I don't even know you
When you're shrouded in mystery
I couldn't tell you how beautiful you are
Every synonym for it is a cliche
But saying you look you maybe will do the trick
It'll make me sound like an idiot
I don't mind sounding like an idiot when you ask me
"How do I look?"

This list gets long
Everything I am not
Listed below
I'm not your world
I'm not your heart
I'm not your soul
I'm not your perfect little demon
I'm not your the man you need
I'm not your the best decision you can make
I'm not your altar
I'm not your reason to smile
I'm not your reason to laugh
I'm not your dream man
I'm not your pillow
I'm not your kleenex tissue
I'm not your castle walls
I'm not your safety vault
I'm not your cushioned landing pad
I'm not your 911 operator
I'm not your saviour
I'm not going to make this any longer
You get the point
I'm not your anything anymore
That's basically everything I am not
Everything I am though is a different story
I'm hers
And her name alone sends chills down my spine
As it rolls off my tongue
Sadly she is not mine...yet
One day though
I will make her happier than any one has ever dreamed
Happier than she could possibly imagine
I will show her the true meaning of love
Even though my heart feels dead
But only when I'm not talking to her
<3

At first I wanted to just be friends
You were a shy girl
Not many friends
You tried to hide from the world
In that dark desolate corner you called home
I ended up getting too close
And falling in love with you
I couldn't help it
Your eyes sang a million songs
That made my heart beat to the rhythm of
Your smile aroused billions of butterflies
That fluttered in my stomach
Your laugh created chills
That crawled down my spine
You became the very essence of my poetry
Every line a curve of your body
Every stanza a feature elegantly placed on your body
Every metaphor a slight over exaggeration of your intense beauty
And every thing I wanted to do to you
I thought of every time I glanced in your direction
I wanted to tear the shirt from your chest
Kiss the pulsating veins in your neck
I wanted to feel the curves I wrote about
I wanted to taste every feature
I wanted to smell your perfume
That always seemed to arouse me
I wanted to hear the late night moans
Of your pure pleasure and enjoyment
I wanted to see that intense flame of ****** desire in your eyes
I wanted to embrace you when we were done
I wanted to stay and watch the sun kiss you good morning
I wanted to listen to your breathing slow as you slept
I wanted to love you in more ways than this
I wanted to please your every desire
I wanted to bring you out of the desolate lands of oblivion
I tried my best to love you
But when things got too serious
You abandon everything we ever had
You must of lied to me every time you said "I love you"
You must not have meant it
You used me for the pure desire of self happiness
You got high off my love
You almost over dosed on my *******
Yet you still had the audacity to walk away from it all
Everything I wanted to do to you
I told you
From taking you to watch the sunset in Arizona
To watching the sun rise on the great Pacific Ocean
I made you happy all the time
Yet you only found happiness in sulking in misery
You never wanted love
And you ran from it
Every time it kissed you
I built an empire for you
I built walls impenetrable by foreign enemies
When in all actuality your reason for allowing me to do so
Was to lock me out when you decided to flee
Yet you still find it hard to attend to the walls
As they start crumbling and eroding
Every time I smile
Every time I laugh
And it's not with you
You want me to pretend nothing ever even happened
Yet everything I wanted to do to you
I never hid from you
I was blunt and straightforward
I wanted you to be exited and surprised
When you saw the bill
When you saw how much happiness cost
It cost our love and friendship
So I hope your happy now
I hope your smile is real now
I wanted to be the reason for them
Now all I want to do to you
Is rip your throat out
For leaving my heart
Broken, bleeding, drunk off love, and at my feet
Everything I wanted to do to you
Went from romantic to homicidal
But I just can't find that level of hatred
To even pull it off
Simply because I still love you

Another sip
Another ****
Fading into the haze
Of my own self destruction
You act as if I'm human
That I can be hurt
That I'm not willing to suffer
Just for your own entertainment
I'll pave my own path to my early demise
Dont think you can help
I'm miles ahead of you
You're only just beginning
Polishing the fingernails of deaths hand
I've felt them
While I fade into my eternal oblivion
Another bottle down
Another cigarette smoked
Maybe I'll continue
Driving this dead end road
At 90 miles per hour
Fading once again
Back into the man I used to be
The man I'm always meant to be
Now I'm wondering
Was the psychic right
Will I ever see my 31st birthday

Was it too good to be true
Did I love you too much
If you say no
Tell me why you left
Tell me why you abandoned my heart
Tell me why you have scars
Tell me why you regret it
Tell me why you gave up on a second chance
Was it a fairy-tale love
That wasn't meant to be
What the **** is the reason
Please tell me
I'm going insane

Shadows on walls
Voices with no mouths
Faces that don't exist
Yet I can see them clear as day
I want to go out
Party the night away
Get drunk on laughter
Get high on the friendships
But where are they
These fake friends I have
Hallucinations in the night sky
Illusions I conjured up
While playing with Tonka toys
Ripping poor Barbies head off
I need friends
I need people willing to listen
I'm tired of wiping
Tears from the eyes of shadows
I want my tears to flow now
I want real friends
I never will though
Because these shadow knives
Hurt like hell
When plunged deep into my back
Guess it's time to move on
Rid my mind of fake friends
And play with guns and blades
Plunge my own knife
Into the pulsating demon
That lays deep in this echoing cavern
I'm tired of dealing with lies
And fake ******* drama
I need real friends
Willing to carry me through my struggles
Quick to dial 911
When I cut a little too deep
Or when foam starts bubbling at my mouth
Because I didn't mind the warning label
That clearly stated "Don't drink alcoholic beverages with medication"
Fake *** friends
**** them
Hi I'm Robert
Anybody want to be my friend?

Carnitas on the pit
Oranges searing as they hit the grill
Carne asada marinating
Waiting to be sampled
Coronas add lime
A **** shot of jacks
Laughing kids running around
Saturday morning was meant
For memories like this
Searing their own grill marks on our brains
Trampoline backflips into pools
Picking a lemon off the tree
Charcoal growing white
Familiar goodbyes and laters
Maybe another time joy will reach
This house that never seems to smile

Day dreaming
Nightly praying
You'll be beside me when I awake
Half naked
With my t-shirt on
Engulfing you
As if dressed for a ball
Sadly my fantasies
Are slowly hanging me
For that's all they'll remain
Destined to fade
But crush you
As you start fantasizing
When it's someone else
I'm holding closer than you

I've tried a million times
Then tried again
Just to find enough hatred toward you
To find a way to force a goodbye
Yet these emotions
Are nothinng but ghost
Nailed to my mistakes
And I wish sorry fixed it
But even tears I force
Can't spell help me say goodbye
I've tried running
I've ran till my feet bled
Danced in tequila
Paraded through clouds of smoke
Hoping somewhere I'll forget you
I've only managed to forget myself
And the reason why I started trying
Trying to give up on you
It wasn't fear
It wasn't stupidity
I just knew I wasn't good enough
I wrote to you a million times
Never pressed send
Just exited out and locked the screen
I wish I could say goodbye
The way you said it to me
A merry *******
And a happy Go **** Yourself
But I deserved it
I gave up when you started to give in
We met at a crossroad at different times
I still love you
While I know you'll hate me
This is a farewell letter to you
You'll know its you when you read it
I made it clear enough
Seems you were too much of a mystery

Your lifeless body
So small and limp
Half way buried in the ditch
Of the back road country side in Georgia
Only six years old
And there clear as crystal clear moonlight
Deep within the windows of your soul
Fear thoroughly expressed
In those tiny cerulean blue angel eyes
How?
Why?
What menace placed such horror
In such small eyes?
What could strip away the innocence
Replacing it with an undeniable fear?
Your mother crying at the sight of you
Your father holding onto her
Breaking and folding
His only daughter
Daddy's little angel took flight
Thrown from the nest
By a force of pure evil
Unable to flap your wings
You fell into the mud
Drowned in fear
This is incomprehensible
How could this happen?
Why you?
What reason?
Is there no answer?
The fear in the eyes of an angel
Expressed purely in the cerulean blue eyes
Of a six year old beauty
Lifeless and half buried in a ditch
Lost in the pages of an obituary

I joined the Triple F club
Finally ******* Free
I'm no longer caged by the pain
Came to terms with myself
Set free the shackles of yesterday
Paved the roads of tomorrow with today
I'm looking past the *******
Because I'm finally ******* free
Sad part is I have six months of therapy
Before I really get to say that

Can I not be free
From the shackles
That are my pain
Each link in the chain
A symbol to each sin

Can I not die
From the suicide
That is my poetry
Each line on the paper
A symbol to each scar

I want to be free
I want to die
I can't take it anymore
I have grown so weak
I have no strength to fight on
And don't you dare tell me
To have faith in God
Because all that ******* gave me
Along with all his false disciples
Was a finer from the heavens
With a royal *******
Whispered on the winds
I want to touch my darkness
Feel my oblivion enclosing
I want to ******* blood
Let the flavor linger on my tongue
I want to smell my decay
Sniffing the decadent aroma
I want to no longer hear my voice
Reply to those in my head
I want to see the world collapse
Watch as it falls into peace
But sadly some things are impossible to obtain
At least on your own
But one thing I can obtain
Is being free and dead
:) finally reaching peace (:

Call of the gulls
Cool breeze running its hands
Through every strand of my hair
Waves crashing on the shore
Rolling over toes buried in the sand
Salty scents embedding into every pore
I forgot why I came here
Maybe it was to forget
Or perhaps remember
Ancient days where happiness was as easy
As the ocean reaching shore
I can still hear it over water beating on the rocks
A drum call that awakens sailors
Laughter from her innocent eyes
Glaring out to sea
A dream hidden in the currents
She always wanted to be a mermaid
Now I'm ankle deep in sand that still holds
Every memory we ever made
But I still can't seem to find me
Yet that could be why I'm here
Standing on the edge of our memories
I can still hear all the sobs
Tears falling harder than the ocean tide
I miss it, I miss it all
I wish the hands of time could be reversed
Then stopped at those moments
Where life was as perfect
As the violence beneath the beauty of the sea

I said she'll be fine without me
I thought he'll be fine if I wasn't around
But she ran off with a razor
Jagged edges and sharp exterior
Piercing smile with dig deeper eyes
And he found paradise floating
At the bottom of fire engulf seas
Thinking he was a pirate king
I thought they would be fine
I thought...
I thought....
......I thought.....
                          .......I......
Thought...
We had it perfect
A love a thousand miles long
But now that only seems like a walk
Compared to the wounds on your wrist
And the last thing you said to me
"I'm fine."
We had it made
Best friends till we died
Ride or die
**** or be killed
But alcohol took you
With an empty shell leaving your last thought
Painted clear to see on the wall behind you
"I'm fine."

****
It
****
Happens

It's the motto I live by
Knowing I'll never be or do
Anything good enough
To the standards of others
But if I'm content
**** don't matter to me
That's all the justification
You'll get from me

It's full of pain, lose, disease,
Anger, hatred, and poverty
If I missed something oh well
Every corner I turn there it is
Another thing trying to bring me down
But still I refuse to bow
I contemplate my demise
Every little detail
How deep to cut my wrist
How tight the nuse will be
What caliber of gun I will use
My life is hell
No sense in dying
When I'll just be here for all eternity
No rest for me
Just a life always meant to be ******
FML

They never go slow
They live life in the fast lane
Never looking back
Hitting top speeds
Reckless and oblivious to so much
Only fools rush in
I guess I'm one as well
I rushed into love
And paid for it with my heart
Just look at my feet
There it lies broken and bleeding
Knowing she's alone and crying

On your mark
Get set
Go!
One foot in front of the other
How many years could I stay in front
How long could I stay first
In this foot race with death
Chasing breathes
Wanting to slow down
But either way
It seemed death stayed ahead
Got a tattoo to remind myself
Death will always win
I'm just taking detours
Visiting villages of my memories
I'm racing through my own life
And these seven seconds
Brought more joy then all my life held
Through all the sorrow
I still saw smiling faces calling me
Into an oblivion
Waiting to face my guilt and shame

We wish you a happy birthday
We wish you a happy birthday
I love you Adreishka
Now blow out the candles
Make a wish
One day it will come true
I'm glad you chose me
As your beloved
Now allow me to wish you
One hell of a birthday
Today is your day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
WE ALL WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TI AMO CON TUTTO IL MIO CUORE
Now **** today
Let the world know
Your 16 today

Your moonlight shines
Quite brighter than the sun
I love how you love me
I just want you to know
You're my chance at something better
I love you
Forever
I will be in your shadow
Eternity
I will love you undeniably
You are the star that accompanies me in the sky
You shine so bright in my eyes
I fell in love at first sight
I love you more than Adam loved Eve
You bring me hope and happiness
I love you
Forever isn't enough
Together
Eternity sounds better
Our love is as infinite as the stars
My heart burns for you
Like the mountains of crimson light
Burning, radiating their existence
In the galaxies so far away
My love
Forever is oh so short
Let it be accompanied with Eternity
Because that is what you are
My Forever & Eternity
I will never stop loving you
Even if Father Times heart gives out
Or if Mother Earth began to cave in around us
Our love is truly infinite
I can't walk away from you
My heart fused to the very ground
Your feet have come to call home
Our love has shackled me freely
Still calling me free but finding home
Looking through the barred windows of your heart
Knowing I will die in your heart
Making going to war and dying
A very ugly thought
I know a beautiful death will come
By being your Forever & Eternity
I know I have asked you to marry me
But I don't want you to marry me
I want to marry you
So will you allow me to marry you
And be your Forever & Eternity
Till death of all things living and unexplained

I'd like to die trying to make
Forever last forever

She cries herself to sleep
Whispers prayers to her God
Muffles she's sorry under her breath
Hides under the sheets
Afraid of what tomorrow holds
When she awakes
She finds her mother passed out in the garden
Her father's fist planted into her face
Leaving the red mark to grow
Her eye blackened
Swallowed by the swelling
She doesn't know how to help her mother
She dresses her busted lip
Puts ice on her mothers cheek
When her mother awakes
She yells at her
Says she doesn't need her help
That she is the reason for all of this
The reason the rent hasn't been paid
The reason the water is getting shut off
So she runs as fast as possible
Running nowhere even faster
Then in the shadows of the midnight whispering moonlight
Her savior appears
Dressed in cold metallic silk
Breathing the smoke from the last cigarette
She wraps her arms around it
And lays next to the body before her
Writes the same prayer she whispered last night
And muffles sorry under her breath
As her mother finds the prayer
She silently reads it
"Dear God,
If you can hear me
Strip the pain from my mothers chest
Burden her with the grief of what she has done to me
****** my father in the back alleys of yesterday
Because death is the only thing that can save him
From the drunken monster he has become
By the way, God, I'm sorry for this
I guess you didn't hear my prayer
The very one I've been reciting since I was 9"

"All that we are arises with our thoughts"

Pondering on this
Over and over I read it
I feel a connection
Yet dumbfounded I remain
Why does this grasp me
So diligently in my head
The constant thoughts
Worthless
Pathetic
Waste
Hopeless
Reckless
Crazy
Angry
D­epressed
List growing with every
Once over I do
Of this tiny piece of paper
Sick
Drunk
Loving
Images of my face in the mirror
I look away in disgust
Is this who I've become
Was this where I saw myself as a child
When teachers asked where I saw myself
Is this what they wanted to avoid me
From ever becoming
Did they at some point
Walk this very path of self doubt
Did I not heed their warnings
Is this my destiny
Reading a fortune cookie scripture
Confirming the thoughts in my head
Have I gone to far into my depression
To believe it to be true
Scared
Weak
Insignificant
Better off dead
Father
How did this happen to me
What pushed me to this point
Did I fail myself trying to succeed
In an area of expertise
I was never qualified to be involved in
I tested waters of love
Found quick sand on the shores surrounding
Up to my throat grasping
For the remaining a breaths
I'll have in my life
What am I really chasing
If happiness can't be found
Let alone obtained
I'm tired of these back and forth
Chess games I play with my sanity
Slipping even further past no return
I'm struggling to see
Where my life could be
What it should be
When all I see is
Who I am now
Feeble
Stressed
Anxious
Alone
I can't make it through my life
With only one aspect to it
That I cling to for dear life
My daughter
How can I be anything she's proud of
When I'm a failure
Succeeding only in that
Given opportunities I'm blind to
I'm sick of this heart
Too big for my chest
I want to lay it to rest
I'm tired of this mind
Too dysfunctional to organize
My potential I want to realize
I can't do it alone
But hallways don't echo silence
Ears fall deaf to mute tongues
Touch doesn't reach to numb hands
Lost
"All that we are arises with our thoughts"
And with that I know
I'll never amount to anything
Past where I am now
No matter how hard I strive
What I do
Where I go
Or whom I'm with
I am exactly who I think I am
For I'm the only one that knows
The treachery of my thoughts

Silver bullets
Golden crosses
Gallons of gasoline
A stake I am tied to
Put on trial for ******
In every degree
******* judge did decree
I was guilty
Nailed like a false idol
Of worthless prayers
To this imprisoning fortress
Of ropes and tears
Crown not of thorns
But of pen tops and pencil lead
Ink flowing from every pore
This is what you have declared
War on a poet
For the idea of suicide
I will not bow
So burn me upon this stake
Like a Salem witch
**** me for all eternity
Like a plagued hobo
I am a god among you pathetic cowards
Free even in life
To my ideas and ideal scenarios of death
Joker grins surrounding me
As the flames lick at my chest
Crawling endlessly like spiders
Engulfing me with every flicker of greed
I am not dead
I live in the hearts of the disciples
Those unheard, undead poets
Wanting nothing more than to be heard
So give me a megaphone
Let me scream
FREEDOM TO ALL
Into the speaker
Because that is what we are
I will pay the price for them
I will be what unlocks the chains
The modern day Jesus
Burned at the stake for his righteousness
Burned by the suicidal voices
Echoing within the hollow corridors
Of every brain cell

It's hard to tell anymore
We have grown so close
Yet we are still so far from each other
And I’m starting to feel the effects

I just want to know where we stand
Friend or Lover
I guess we’re somewhere in the middle
We both want the same

We may never get the chance
I know you better than myself
You know me better than yourself
And this emotion is tearing me apart

I’m afraid I’ll never get the chance
To share this love for you, with you
I want to hold you closer
Embrace your silent tears

I want your burdens to be my own
So the weight isn’t so heavy
I’m here for you
Never far when you call

Are we Friends or Lovers
We are closer than friends
Yet we never made love
I’m in dire need of the answer

I cant escape the demons
I have created for myself
And you still stand at my side
Waiting to see the real me

I know that the end is coming
I know we will never be together
Yet I want you to know
It doesn’t matter because I love you

I am yours alone
Call for me and I’ll be there
I have tried so hard for you to realize
That I truly and deeply am in love with you

Friends or Lovers
I’ll know when the time is right
We just have to face the facts
We are neither

Single
Engaged
Married
Separated
Divorced
**** it all
Done it lived it
I'm married to myself
Four walls and a roof
Steady job steadier pay
A beautiful little girl
I really don't need much else
Sure the comfort of her body
Late in the hours of dusk
Would make me smile more
But what's one less smile
When the pits of hell
Are preheating to roast my soul
**** a relationship status
I want happiness before I die
God knows I won't get it
Devil laughs at me for chasing
I'd rather chase my own tail
Then fight a losing war
Where even if I happen to win
I'll die unsatisfied
Knowing I sacrificed the parts of me
I loved the most
Because I'll never be good enough
The way I am now

Just get it over
Be one of many people
Surrender to the simple truth
You ******* hate me
I'll leave you alone
Let you read my ******* work
It isn't any good anyways
I'm a has been
A wanna be
So get it over and ******* hate me

Life
Society
Endless list of things
I'm waiting for ***** to give about
I only have one **** to give
With my chin up
**** out
***** on the table
I'm ready
So call my spongebob
This new chapter I have yet to write
I'm going to **** it
Head first into the dirt
No more self abuse
Belittling every action
Contemplating what I thought
Was my only way out
Reality had to slap me in the face
Give me more reasons
Not to doubt my potential
Somehow I've moved forward
Without realizing I did
I'm close to checkmate
But that's before the semifinals
I'll probably lose somewhere
Life has a winning streak too
**** it
I'm not sweating it
There is a green pasture
I'm watering to make greener
Might not be within eyesight
I just know it's there
Like every great masterpiece
From all my favorite artist
No one saw what they did
Till it was finished
Once unveiled it was breathtaking

I hate you
I cant say I want to love you
So why cant I forget you?
**** this ****
Im sick of it

You played my emotions
Like a **** fiddle
Well the strings broke
And Im not letting you fix me
Im saying **** it

You thought I could take it
You just didnt know how much
Well now you do
When I let the demon rage
And snap your pathetic neck

**** it
You hear me now mother?
I'll scream it at the top of my lungs
Till you finally hear this
******* and DIE!!!

Sure you ruined me
You even looked at me when I was young
And simply said ''**** it''
Well its my turn to say it
With your throat in my hands

You love me now mother
Well I still hate you
I will never love you
Someday I'll take these memories
And make you choke on them

I need $500 to achieve my dream
This time I'm E.T.
I'm phoning home
No longer going with the flow
One ride away
I'll be dancing on the footsteps of life
No more hell holes or traps
So if you could generously send me some mullah
I'll add $15 to any donation over $50

Not many blunts can be found
In the pockets of my friends
Good thing though
I'm sick of that ****
Always lived by the code puff puff pass
Well I'm laughing laughing smiling
Because I found the girl for me
Gorgeous as can be
I think insanity is required
In this almost perfect scenario
I'm getting high off my ***
On the scent of her perfume
From a six maybe seven hour distance
I love the way she talks to me
Never a dull moment
She makes me feel like the animal I am
But the angel able to hold her
At a seconds notice
I'm not asking for fire place dinner
Late night walks on the beach
Or making love under the stars
I'm asking for a chance at her heart
Maybe a chance to steal her breath away
Let her suffocate on my speechlessness
No joke she's ******* amazing
Any man would **** just to look at her
I'm dying to stare in her eyes
I'm falling **** am I falling
Told you I wasn't going anywhere
Give it a week my ***
I'm giving it a week till you realize
Baby I'm hitting rock bottom pretty **** hard

Shall I take my life away
Strip the essence of disgust
From a beautiful aroma of life
Shall I envy no longer
The tears that seem foreign
To vacant hollow depths
Soulless windowpanes that echo
The pain of a thousand voices
Yet I seem to struggle
With these tornado winds
Ripping through my heart
Desecrating the holy lands
That once flourished with Love and Innocence
Now Godforsaken
Shot down in the middle of night
Crashing burning into hallowed grounds
Aerial assault bombarding
Leaving ruins and corpses
Thirsty for the spillage of my blood
Carving rivers into my wrist
Breaking dams in my veins
Letting the ****** tsunami rage
Drowning myself in its depth
Godforsaken
Now I shall die
Simply because I'm pathetic
Always thinking I can save the world
With six lines or outstretched arms
All I'm doing is setting it up
For its inevitable failure

You exist in this life with the heavenly wow factor

I still hit the ditch
Sold my soul to a *****
Cursed by a witch
Death now a comforting itch

Promise me you will never leave
Promise me goodbye
Will never be a thought
On such tender lips as yours
Promise me goodbye
Will never be a part of our vocabulary
I never want to say goodbye
I only want to say
"I'll catch you later"
Or "I'll talk to you later"
I want to be sure
LATER is the only option
My love
Promise the moment will never come
When you say goodbye
I couldn't take the heartbreak
I'm afraid to say it
So I'll talk to you...Later
Because I will never leave
I love you

I doubt you even care anymore
I've tried countless times
To edge you on
Yet I know I'm not master of emotions
I can't make you feel for me the way I feel for you
I know good guys finish last
The era of the perfect man is over
Men have become so accustomed
To always finishing last
They force themselves to be something
They were never meant to be
I'm no romantic
No superclass football player
No six pack having caveman
No party going rocket man
No 10" **** having man
I'm the last of a dying breed
And even my blood runs thin
So what did you expect
My patience to be eternal
Yeah I said I had patience
But what's the point
When socialism is key
To even trying for something you want
Good guys don't exist
Consider me dead
I'll put on the leather coats
Slick my hair back
Jump on a stolen Harley
Get tattoos for no ******* reason
Consider this heart of gold
Another ******* ashtray
Sorry I catch feelings when I'm compared to other people
Sorry I fancy myself unique
Sorry I actually have feelings
Sorry I fall to easy
**** it I'm done apologizing
This hopeless romantic routine is over
Me being me is done
I'll go back to being 13-15
Not giving a **** and ******* every girl
Who's interested in having a wild night
Hope I ******* made it clear
GOOD GUYS DON'T ******* EXIST

It isn't **** day like that funny commercial
It's day I say **** the world
I say to you my friends
I'll enjoy the works you all post
Today is Read Every Poem You Can Day

"Guilty"
That's what the gavel screams
Echoing on the steel bracelets
Bolted to my wrist
"Guilty"
Convicted of 32 counts of ******
403 counts of manslaughter and torture
Unanimous vote by the laughing jury
Eyes struck cold with the fear
A mass murderer before their eyes
"Guilty"
Solitary confinement for me
*******, bolted, and chained
To four walls playing ghost in my ears
Whispering the verdict
"Guilty"
****** weapons found in my hands
Set fire to the bodies
So they couldn't laugh anymore
Played cat and mouse with their tongues
My scars aren't a joke
Yet I still hear the laughter
Driven mad enough to hear
"Guilty"
32 kids, 68 adults, 303 other voices
I had to silence
I couldn't take it
The laughter, paralyzing glares
Smiles embedded in ruby eyes
"Guilty"

Hear ye
Hear ye
Hail to his Majesty
The king has arisen
****** he plots
Be weary of his call
For the Red King
Hates you all
Out with his heart
Out with his heart
Watch as it beats
Till all existence cease
Ideas of love are sweet
Ye might relish in now
Reality whispers in his ear
No place for ye to be held
Ever so dear
In a heart ran red
As he ripped it out
So no queen could ever
Take his head
Hail to the king
His royal Majesty
Hail the Red King
Out with his heart
Out with his heart
The king awakens
Intent on ******
His only victim to be
Shall forever be solely me

Reaching for a soul
That does not exist
Cold bony fingertips
Grasping my throat
Squeezing with so much might
Not expected from a bony mass
Covered in tattered robes
Of dark silken fibers
A scythe held tight in her right hand
Her left hand still at my neck
Quick to strangle me
Like the nuse in my garage
The hands of death
I clasp with my hand
Hold it tightly
Her blank cold stare
Showing a sense of wonder
As I tell her I love her
She releases me
My throat sore
But the pain is masked
I reach for the hands of death
Look into the eyes
Of a thousand souls
I see my own
As I pull her close to me
I want to forever walk beside her
I have never been wanted
The way she wants me
The way she desires my heart and nonexistent soul
Hands of death
I called out to
Wrapped myself in
And peacefully walked beside her
Hand in hand
Till the death of death
Shall we ever consider parting

Growing up you want to be
Sleeping Beauty's knight
Snow Whites true loves kiss
Cinderella's prince charming
You want to be the reason
She has a happily ever after
Its all ******* fantasies
They never had a lick of truth behind them
False hopes for the young minds
Leading them to believe
Everything goes your way eventually
My happy ever after
Is everybody else's
Happily never ever
I find my solitude in the drugs
**** it all
The real me gets to run free
Carefree, **** it all
All those promises of me quitting
My happiness is in the alcohol
The whiskey of a dragons fire
Soaring down my throat
I want to get so ****** up
I have to look down to find heaven
So this prince of stupidity
Lived happily never ever
Drowning in a pool of his *****
Choking himself in mountains of anger
Always feeling like the last thing
On everyone's mind
Just a nuisance
Saying he loves her
Saying hello to him
It was all pointless to begin
So they lived happily ever after
When he finally shot himself.

I stand here in the cold
Over your grave
With a dozen roses
Today is your birthday
The saddest day of them all
Because two years ago
You called me
You were crying
Saying you couldnt handle it
Your boyfriend left you
Told you how worthless you were
Saying you were just a game
You said you loved him
You couldnt believe he said that
You said you were going to end it
I started to cry
You were the only person
That knew my life
Knew my soul
You just didnt see the truth
That I really love you
You were always blind when it came to love
It was your 15 birthday
You grabbed the gun
And I heard you blow your brains
All over the walls
I called your name
You didnt answer
I rushed to your house
Had to break the window
I skipped every other step
Broke your door down
And there you were
Laying on your bed
Blood covered blankets
Gun still in your hand
Hole in your head
I broke down and cried
Cops arrived
They asked me what happened
I told them everything
I saw the note on your night stand
I picked it up
It was folded nice and neatly
I opened it and it smelled like you
I read it
It said you love me
That you were sorry
You signed it with a kiss
Now here over your grave
I hold that note in my free hand
It still smells like you
Your lipstick has faded
But I read it every night
I remember that day
I have the same gun
That you killed yourself with
And now I realize life really aint worth living
If I cant talk to you and tell you of the day
So here on your birthday
Over your grave
I end my life
Hoping to see you one last time
Over on the other side

Mom you gave me life
You gave me knowledge
Yet there is nothing
I can give you on this day

I wish you
A Happy Mothers Day
You are truely the greatest
Your a hero to me

Mom you deserve everything
You sacrifice till there is nothing left
And you sacrifice more
Your undisputed

All there is left to say is
Happy Mothers Day
You deserve to rest
I love you

What's so happy about it
Birthday
Valentine's
New year
Holidays
I seen another year
Don't want to
Only have to
There is no need for me
My existence useless
I'm only here for her
To bare my cross
And carry her burdens
Mask the pain of life
Happiness doesnt exist
At least not for me
I've seen glimpses of it
My daughter knows more about it
Then I ever will
If I can keep her smile strong
Depression will die with me
All malicious emotions
She'll never feel
That will be the only glimpse
Happiness will be seen
When I take all this negativity
To the endless abyss of my grave
Or maybe I'll be the reason
She doesn't remember me
And she finds happiness
In the comfort of that

Bouquet of roses
Box of chocolates
Teddy bear stuffed with the finest cotton
Yeah baby I went all out for you
But where are you
Walked away the day after my birthday
4 days and you only have your silence to keep
Guess I was wrong to say I love you
Guess it was my fault for being so stupid
Happy Valentine's Day anyways
Guess you deserve that at least
Oh and thanks for ******* me over
Nice to know you cared oh so much about me