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Rhea Mar 29
I don’t think I’ve ever been in love with my past partners.
I think I’ve lied every time I said those words.
I think I was scared to admit it to myself,
But I think I love you.
I will never regret anything as much as I regret saying yes,
Then chickening out.
How different our lives would be had we kissed, had we touched.
I don’t think I’ve ever said “I love you”, and meant it.
Except to you.
I think you're my soulmate.
I think you’re meant to be mine.
I think I’m meant to be yours.
I think you're miserable with him.
I think you’d be happy with me.
I don’t think I’d ever be happy with anyone else.
But I am not a smart woman,
So what I think may just be my mind.
And I can never tell you what to do,
But I hope you see in my eyes my love for you.
I’m scared that if I ever told you,
Everything would change.
I’m scared I’d lose you again, and I’d die without you.
I don’t think I’ve ever understood someone more.
I don’t think anyone has ever understood me more.
If i decided to tell you, what would I say?
How am I supposed to apologize?
I think I’ll have to keep my mouth shut forever.
As long as you’re in my life, I can keep living.
I am in love with my best friend. I miss her whenever I don't see her, I can't keep my eyes off her when I do see her. I wish we had experimented in high school when she asked me to and I said yes. I was scared though, and I hate myself every day for never being braver. I hate myself, but I love her. And I think I always will.
Rhea Jan 2018
I may smile when you look at me
I may laugh when you joke for me
But **** I'm dead inside
To hell if I say I'm fine
Everything hurts
It's worse than words
My best friend is the devil
He shows me every evil
He says it's ok for me to bleed
But as long as they never see
I never get any sleep
Thoughts are running too deep
I don't respect my body anymore
What the **** is it good for
I can feel my bones move beneath my skin
What will it take to be whole again
Rhea Jan 2018
I fear for those to whom I'm lying
Because of their pain or because of mine
Truth is I'm constantly aching
From my own bones I'm breaking
I feel best when I'm in pain
Best in this bed I'm laying
I need a distraction
Other than this misery I'm in
My hand falls to my side
And another piece of me dies
I've found that people don't want to hear my cries for help
I've learned it's better to keep them to myself
Rhea Jan 2018
Misery sleeps with me
Confusion holds my hand
Depression spoon feeds me
Exhaustion builds my lonely land
I'm the sole heir
With anxiety holding my faith
In fragile fingers bound to break
Rhea Jan 2018
Where did you go friend?
What did you believe in?
Are you where you wanted to be?
Is it your ghost that I see?
The silent words on my breath,
Are whispers of a tragic death.
Rhea Jan 2018
We write
We write as if we are who we wish we were
We cry
We cry because we are who we wish we weren't
Rhea Oct 2017
Inside the meaning of drought,
The old waters shimmer.
Inside the meaning of death,
The old poets turn in their graves.
Inside the meaning of exile,
The old gods pace in their prisons.
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