how can I tell if what you say is true?
how do I know of real or fake?
a part of of me believes you
but that nagging voice in my head
says the opposite
what if it's a lie
the thought of what if
for this I'm sorry
with time the voice will get quieter
one day I'll control the voice
and it won't control me

I see myself becoming a different person
for the better though it seems
changing
evoloving
anxiety covered thoughts are present
I'm nervous for this person
for what she'll be
I'll welcome her
as she is me
and I am she

a thought of you was made up in my mind
a picture perfect scene
maybe confused with a famous movie scene
where the girl fixes the boy
love grows and all is well
that's not how life works
no fixes are made
the same is still the same
I really thought I could
that's the true shame

I can't describe the way I feel
but it's a nice change of pace
will it last?
I have no idea
but for once in my life
for this moment I'll live in it
experiencing life as I should
something new
something good

moments of drunken randomness
quiet hushed laughs
secrets of the night
that stay between siblings
I missed these moments
shared with my brother
my true friend
and I'll soon come to miss them
time and time again

a weird state of the in between
not exactly sad
but not exactly any emotion
I feel weird
no way to describe it
if I told you of this feeling, would you ever care?
is it worth me to even dare tell you?
fear of being thought of as crazy
express it or suppress it
the in between