You just opened a bad omen and now you can’t stop reading it till you reach its end

Living in a time where depression is a good reason to die
Soon you’ll only be able to talk to me through prayer

You know whats sad? Your laughing at me and mocking me. How could you overlook me? Why are you always going to count me out? You haven't even seen my best.

Is it kindness thats giving me the will to live?
To take away my own life
A life connected to all of those who love me
Is it mean to tear that all a part
Just because I'm dealing with a broken heart

Theres a dark man at your door and you don't know if you should answer it.
He spends his time inside your mind trying to give you reasons to die until you finally decide he's right, that's when the devil wins, when you become so fond of the idea of death because you feel like life isn't worth living

It's her 21st Birthday and she’s out with her "friends"
So the first shot was on the house tonight
She believes she’s tipsy but that's not what I heard when she called me that night
She is going to die on her way home tonight
Not even an Uber would have saved her life
From a drunk driver going down the wrong side
and only one witness makes it out alive
that was me, on the phone
I cried
How could something so cliché
end a life

If I am a joke to you
Then it won't be a problem if I walk away
I’m done entertaining you
And the idea of ever having you
I guess that was the true joke
One that still makes me laugh

A soldier like me
Can't show weakness
So I've been keepin ya a secret
Can't let the world know I have a weak spot
That the one thing that can destroy me is you
If they ever found you I don't know what I'd do
But i'll go through hell to protect you
I'll die over and over again just to hear you breathe
Because I would push past previous limits
At the cost to see you live
Sacrificing everything just to keep you
Putting it all on the line so I don't lose you

Faithful **** you hopeless
I found an opening
The nature of your flaw
Divine perfection
Ticking the connection
Can't reach me
It aint the distance
Its the reception
This is my world
And I'm kicking you out of it
Full of **** I'm about to flush you down
Trust me
Cause you can't be trusted
Ha, you got me ******
Ha, you think you fooled me
Na you're about to get schooled
When you receive a blessing
You don't go **** it up
But you go **** it up
Where are your blessings now
I can't help you so learn to help yourself
What was worth a lot to me is now chump change to me
Found out but you don't like the reaction
Good, this isn't for your liking
This is for me, all of this is for me
Cause I'm done doing for you
Nothing was coming back to me
So whats the use other than making you happy
Emotions steaming towards me down these train tracks
I guess life will never teach me
Cause I've never learned to quit
I still chase
I still hunt for that unforgettable face
Call me false
I've abandoned all honesty
And honestly I'm done
Fin

I couldn't be more disappointed
but this is your life and this is how you chose to live it
and I saw the look in her eyes
I could tell shes had better
So girl why are you wasting your time with me
So girl why'd you waste your breath on me
bet you thought you knew it all
bet you thought that I would fall
but thats not what you wanted at all
you can't deal with it because i'm different
you're beautiful but what does beauty have to do with this unrequited love
:Everything
I loved who you were so I looked past the flaws
which made all the difference in the world
And through your eyes you've picked me apart
Like what I had to offer wasn't ideal to you
but thats not true because no matter what I do, I'll never be the one for you

every waking morning
the lit room that I sleep in
I ponder on her existence
I know she's in a better place
I know theres someone else
who is this about
obsessed with love
you can't run away from it
its something we witness everyday
there's no ignoring it
ongoing battle inside ourselves
we're all conflicted
slaves to the desires
chasing stars that seem impossible to reach
diving deep into oceans that seem to have no end
with the same mind and the same heart from before
everything left unchanged
I can't move on from this
I still love you

Its the scent to her skin
Shes the one who drives you wild
The girl that just can't be peeled from you
Spiritual connections I jump in to her mind from mine
So much that I can see her when I close my eyes
Expressions of pleasure it seems
This is no winning game  
I failed before I could make a move
Now I stand here and watch you bleed
I had nothing to offer
But I wonder how much you got
How much can you make out of nothing
Because nothing is all that I gave you
Yet you took it
It was a mistake, everything becoming what it is
I took it so far
To you it wasn't enough
Putting sweat and blood for you
In the end it all had to go
Truth is you never let me know
That you've already been carried away by the flow
Everything that happens in the moment is okay to you
But nothing is okay it wasn't right yet you did it
Why did you do it

She hates my guts
Oh how she hates
Its how much I love her though
And my soul implodes at her very being
Came in to my life like some lost child
I offered her everything I had to offer
By helping her I was helping myself
I lost who I was
I've become what I am
I'm nothing lesser than a man
Every human bleeds
This isn't a movie
Invincibility only lasts in art
So our love never died
Because it lives on in my words
The poor words of a broken poet

Why do I keep taking chances with you
But it's not just you, it's everyone
Even friends will turn their backs on you
Missing them wont get them back
I hate how I'm trying to force something
When I knew it was always nothing
I still think of you every day and I don't know why
Why do I keep thinking about you
You are the one thing in my mind that never goes away
Why can't I stop thinking about you
Every day goes by
Every night that goes unturned by remembering your face
I think about all the things I could've said and all the things I should've said
Who knows.. Maybe it's not too late
But I'm done taking chances so I don't expect any change
A mist clouds the present
A fog covers my future
I'm just hoping to see your face on the other side

Its the peace in you I find beautiful
A lonely soul blessed on a journey
Keep walking your path to exile
We ought to find one another eventually
Thoughts never stop to pour out
Not even drips because its a broken water main leaking back in to an ocean of countless careless things
Contamination never seemed to pass through your filters
As pure as the warmth coming from your fingers
Don't turn back or look the other way
To all the problems you should've avoided
Whats here is yours to claim
Everything you've done has summed up the value of the name you hold
If thats really your name
Who are you really and whats the act you're playing
Own up to your name to feel whole again
Let go, to regain new strength to combat the evils on your crooked path
Its all on one line that never ends
You may seem to be on a loop
Its all inside of you, the things that intoxicate you
Everything remains continuous

one stroke of your brush
to put your mark
those rosy lips
compliments make you blush
kiss me softly
to **** me slowly
tonight its just you and me
tomorrow i'll be dead
like I never existed
strike my name off your list
you're more in love with your game
than you could ever love another

Quit fleeing from your mistakes
It wont help your heartache
I know what you're feeling
I've been on that road before
Your problems persist
Do they ever end
No, I don't think so
Your eyes tell the tale
Depression easily read
Haunted by your decisions
Is this really what you want
She chose the party scene
Now shes stuck in between
Her future is not so bright
Will she make the transition
She doesn't believe in God
I hope she finds the light
Before the darkness destroys her life

Fond of the sips of black death
In love with the smoke that doesn't go away
How long will it take
For me to lose focus
Lose memory of everything
It all holds me back and I keep taking in the wrong things
Look at all these drugs
They said it would get me through the day
Thats all it is
Its just something temporary
I'm moving towards permanent
Last me forever love me forever
How hard is that
Its impossible
But nothing ever pays off with out hard work
Nothing plays the way you want it to
It was never in the books for you anyways
But tonight I promise you we can rewrite history
I got death in my fingers and acid in my pen
Ready to destroy it all
Ready to scratch out the pain

I know you're not mine
But in my poetry you've always been with me
I wanna take you high
Grab you by the hand
Give you the ring that'll change your life
I've seen your past and I still want you
For the woman you've become
I'll be the man you can hold on to
Baby don't let go
All my actions will mean nothing
Everything I poured into you
I just want to stop your suffering
But I can see that you just want to be left alone
You'd rather depend on yourself and do things on your own
But I'm not tryin' to help
You were a rose still on the bush and I was too late to pick you
Now I am forced to watch you die
Nothing I can do about it now
Its karma falling down from your black cloud

I'm happy for you but I'm sad for me
We don't see eye to eye
Thats why you're always the first to leave
Thoughts of suicide I no longer feel alive
I'm frozen over with your absence
I need to find my own warmth
The memories of the times we spent together doused in gasoline
I try lighting it but the sparks aren't enough
My hearts like a freezer and my soul is locked inside
Screaming out in pain from the burns of the frost
Slowly spreading within my chest
She'll bury a seed deep in your heart and when it grows you won't even know what to do with the new life thats waiting to be exposed
You want to **** it but it's so beautiful

Your ambitions seem to fall
Underneath a messy sheet
I tried to avoid it but it was too much
Hit straight on I couldn't feel a thing
The pain that arrived
Left so quickly
I've said this before
I'm done with the games
When ever you're ready just call my name

Backed up now
Can't run away
Theres a trapdoor at the end
That sends you back to the start
I'm not waiting till its over to realize my mistakes
Theres nothing here to fix
Every missing piece found and replaced
I told myself I'd never feel this again
But look at me I'm back at the same place but with a different person

My body feels numb
You make it hard to breathe
I hold my breath so I can listen to your body
I hear it crying out my name
With every gentle motion
The passion in my soul burns higher
The flames glow brighter
Don't quit
Keep feeding the fire

We are forced to change
To adapt to the things around us
Our environment never stays the same
So don't be surprised when the people around you switch up on you
**** happens so fast but I don't give a ****
Lost control of my deepest emotions
But that was back then
Now I have them in a choke hold
I am like a blank CD with many scratches
Try to play me and you'll get nothing but static
My thoughts flow and my mouth stutters
The sight of you makes my butterflies flutter
The loss of you though
I still feel the shivers

Basically she said 'I don't need you'
With out moving her lips
I read it from the signs
The signs they led me to the conclusion
That I may not even need you
You're my best friend
And we live such lonely lives
The necessity of ones comfort isn't required in everyday life
So my emotions begin to pack and leave my being
Because I'm done being used
Because I let you
And I still let you but I no longer poses those emotions to show you that I want you
And I know you know
Doubt never entered your mind when it came to my feelings for you
I surpassed the limit of my patience
My anger is settled and my temper has faded
Let alone my soul thats the one thing you can never change
Nor love nor lust
I believe in a higher trust
I hold grieve deep in my heart
Keep digging girl you're getting deeper
Sadly you only scratched the surface
God has put us on this world with purpose
Don't shame it, fulfill it

Heard ya was in danger
So im here to save ya
**** now that i'm the one needin the savin
You wont save me
And I died

You open yourself

But not emotionally

The slide of a sharp blade

Sharp because you have soft skin

The pain she feels isn't real enough

I took her hand and whispered in her ear

I know of sharper blades

Look into my eyes and I'll cut deep into you

But instead of pain

You will feel me touching your skin like silk

Kissing the most fragile parts of you

So now you wont have to wonder what deaths like

Please accept my gift and live your life

i never thought i'd lose you

your mother didn't see the heart I had for her

i couldn't save her my child

now i'll never know your name

because of me

i'll never know of your existence

i hear your cry in my dreams

i'm sorry i can't save you

Things never seemed so difficult
But love is the most extreme level in life
But if you're going to break me
Don't just bend me
Do it completely so that the pain can be done with
Every time you tear me I always heal back up
The day that you want to stop trying
Thats the day you have to completely break me
Tear me into pieces
Shrivel me in to dust
You are my weakness
So you have the strength to do all of that

Stop loving me
Stop faking
Stop everything
The stillness in my breath
Is the fear I have in you
Start hating me
Start honest
Start over

I have so much to give
And nothing to lose
Time is running out on me
They only gave me two years
Two years of feeling free
I've been given an opportunity
One I never wanted
At least with a time period
Life isn't a trial so why put an expiration
There's nothing worth chasing anymore
So I fall flat on my back and forget I ever had a heart
I fall infinitely in to my own self
Never going to get back up

I just want you to take me away
To a far away place
But wait
This is my time
Don't strain yourself to fulfill my wishes
I have been running
Running for you a long time
I live for you but living means nothing
I need you by my side not on the other side
I need ya to take away this uncertainty away
The pain which it accompanies can stay
It has inspired me to write beautifully
As beautiful as your face
How could I forget such a face
Take me to a secret place

She exists to me but I don't exist to her
Found out that all my efforts were just me being helpful
You think I do that because anyone would
Na nobody would
Nobody can do it like me
Thats why it'll be a shame once I walk away from this
I wonder what this is
Could it all be my mistake
Could it be me falling for you blindly
You watch me take the bait
Led me on and on
Now i'm drowning in a river of sorrow
I never thought you could be that shallow
Let me leave and let me live
He means more to you than me thats why you don't leave him
If it aint me then **** it
Happiness comes and goes
Just thought you were more than a girl
Emptiness is all I found
Thought you had something more to show
And I'm just digging the feelings out of you cause they're buried deep inside ya
But my shovel hit the bottom
You still have nothing for me

Traced faintly along your soft skin
The kisses of a sneaky serpent
I don't know why you listened to sin
You've took the bite off the wrong fruit
You are blind for that reason
Thats why you're with him
But not even I understand
Why you said yes to the poison
It carries its infections to your mind
It was never up to you to decide
Chances were that I was on the wrong side
I still haven't given up
Although every night I am one day closer
Death is waiting for my time to end
So tonight I will die
Because you're all I ever cried for
But in the morning I'll be alive
So the cycle continues
Till you're back in my life

Get it together
Theres a sun under that nasty weather
Time is all that holds you back
I really hope that you get better

The stars search for a world to light up
But no world would light up
One star sad and alone
Dies and blows up
Supernova  
Now every world lights up
Every world powdered in star dust
But its too late because the star's gone

Your embarrassment is your own harassment
You think I don't see you
The way you looked at him
Like I meant nothing
I was never in the right place
All along I've been walking in to traps
I don't even know if I'm struggling to come out
Or the struggle is in falling in
Put a pause on the difficulties
I turn around to face my enemies
In the end there is no place to feel safe
If you need a sanctuary
This place wont support you

Never remind me to wait for you
I broke, you never diagnosed my condition
Left ignored and abandoned with no one to look after me
I guess i'll always be on my own
My heart needs to be shot down
Its only dragging me down
Wanted to give you it all
Instead I lost it all

Don't you dare stay
This isn't your place to begin with
Don't you change your mind
This isn't what it was before
I'm destroyed and theres nothing that can fix it
I let you go and you were happy
I chose this route because of you
Thats why I'm not happy
It was always you
I had to lose
I wasn't the one
You are the sacrifice I made
My decisions led to suffering

It was never you
It was me who was fooling
Toying with emotions
I don't even know how to play em
Pulling strings quick
Nothing lasted
You have your sights on something
That was never me
If truth was ever to find you
You would have me
But lies are what you follow
So you'll never have it
The world is in my palms
Ready to give to you
What more could you ask for
Its not about the desire
But you're the girl that I'd die for
I put my trust in you but never faith
You don't believe in yourself
So why should I believe you
Instead I wanna leave you
I can't forget what you gave me
Debts are due and I owe you the world
So its only fair to stick around until its over
For me it was over before it started
You still haven't seen what I held in store for you
The things that blind you
The things you lose
Don't let the light guide you
The reward in the end is no use for you
Though I was never worth it
I still loved you

Give up your future
Lose all your friends
Use up all your time
Sleep late nights
Sacrifice your pride
Gave you everything
From you I got nothing

The scrambling of my emotions
Every time i think of you
Every single thought I can't deal with out you
Too little too late
It was never my chance to take
Playing the love game
Every day I'm not with you I feel more dead
When I'm reminded of you its a struggle to remain calm
Its true that you were never mine to claim
I hear sounds at night
Its my heart whining out your name

And the hate i feel in my heart isn't for you
Its the pain that it brings
And thats what I get for loving you
I would have never guessed that it would be you
Even though you know it you wont tell me how you feel
Its what kills me
To feel alone to feel like you never cared
I thought this was a combined effort but instead I was always on my own
I know you love me but you wont admit it
You don't believe in me
Yet I always prove myself
Its just another case of bad luck
And with bad timing
It was you this whole time
I wish I had known

A cocoon filled with hate
Time is everything  
Yet I always arrive late
Rejecting all that I have to bring
A cocoon filled of regret
So sorry you had to wait
Loving me is no debate
Love is nothing to play with
Its not a thing to persuade
Ya don't even need me so why try
Love isn't made to convince

When will she see
What she means to me
Open your eyes to the obvious baby
You're the girl of my dreams
While you silently sleep
I'll be waiting in your dreams
Can you feel my heartbeat
The rhythm of my body

Though I waited for your love
I received nothing but your kindness
I could feel it in your eyes
And the feelings that lay behind
Its deteriorating me from inside
I am left with no emotion
So take an ounce of my love
Cause I don't need it
The flow of love halts to a stop
My heart starts to drop
Cause I don't feed it
The love it desires

Even my poetry can't explain
The feelings you throw at me
Its the exhaustion of our love
Leaving us unconscious sometimes
A rope tightened around our necks
We both decide not to jump
This love is almost like suicide
We have thorns in our hearts
The ones we love the most
Their names on em
You're my beautiful rose
Infecting me from the inside
I can't wait till I die

Girl you eliminated all the darkness in my life
All the love I can see it through your eyes
You don't even have to tell me
I can finally see the light coming from your eyes
Fulfilled my life and my soul burns bright
Always been the one to be there for me
Always been the girl of my dreams
The feelings you hide are so obvious
Fate has stepped in and now I can't stop it
You've always belonged to me
I just realized what you mean to me
All my life I have been unsure with myself
And now I finally feel complete
I've been starving myself my whole life just waiting on the right pizza to eat
You're the perfect pizza slice that I can't wait to eat

What is today wont be the same tomorrow
Every morning feels different
I feel the chills of loneliness rising in my sheets
When I can no longer sleep
I wake up and theres nothing next to me
I wish it could be you
Give me the warmth that I need
I can feel the ice reaching me
Frost covered heart
Come closer girl but don't slip
Cuz the ice is melting
I could feel the fresh steam radiate off your lips as it hits me as mist
But my eyes have been closed this whole time
I opened them and there I was
A glacier big enough to wreck a ship
It was all a dream
You never came for me after I came for you

Every day I'm not with you
I die a little inside
I feel the pain closing in
Cornered up in my feeble mind
Its the spirit in my eyes
The moisture is running dry
Sadness falls in my heart every night
And its not your fault
I am my own reason that I cry

All I ever wanted for you was the world
I wish I could have gave you my soul
It was never about me
My heart it aches and yours I hope never breaks
Tonight I lay awake thinking of a place
That will take me away from the pain
If suffering is all I'm given
I will survive as long as your crystal eyes shine
You're the light that I need but darkness is what surrounds me
Its the life of the weak
Struggling on my feet
I manage to walk through this nightmare I learned to love
Dreams never real
The chase never ending
Its the life of the weak

This world has me in transitions
From good to bad
But deep in my roots
I'll always be good
This image is just a shield
Protecting me from unnecessary pain
You say you know who I am
You say you're reading me
Yet you haven't opened a page
My hardcover may be misleading
But what it contains
Is nothing but a blank
Undecided in a society of pressure
With no identity I roam free
Of becoming anything I want to be