I've always wanted
To climb Mount Everest
I don't do cold weather
But I have an idea
That if I climbed to the tip top at night
That I'd be able to see more stars then anyone ever has
I'd bet I'd be so close to them
That they'd look like holes
On the heavens floor

I can’t count with my fingers
The amount of times I have been homesick.
It is one of the bleakest feelings in the world.
The aching,
Bile rising,
Wrongness in my chest.
Makes me feel like I don’t belong here.
This isn't where I am supposed to be.
I've been gone for far too long,
And the desirable place is in his arms.
I now know the worst kind of homesickness,
The kind where I am consumed of inevitable morose.
Being with him is where I need to be.
Inhaling the leftover scent of him from his sweater,
Doesn't smell nearly as good as it would,
If it were inhaled directly from his neck.
Looking at all the photos I have of him, of us,
Isn't quite like seeing his smile in person, or hearing his laugh.

If he is my home,
I must go back soon.
I've been gone for far too long.

I can't sleep anymore you haunt my dreams at night

it's half-past our time
and i'm still listening-
a song about getting lost
in the canyons

-and the divide
seems much greater
than before-

if i don't look at you
maybe you won't see me

and i won't have to lie
here still
unmoved by you
and your kindness

i don't get lost there
anymore.

r ~ 9/8/14

think your worst thought

and throw it deep in the pines
to get caught on the vines

then go there at night
when the light of a bone
colored moon makes shadows
rattle and bite

and hold that thought

tight.

r ~ 9/11/14