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  Sep 2018 Renard Jackson
Poetoftheway
,how do you know when
(a human is too broken?)




<•>

human too broken?

like the light bulb, removal from its fixture, a simple shaking revelation of the tinkling filament spent, something that cannot be repaired, the only option is replacement and that makes
you cry

the empty box of oatmeal raisin cookies, you find secret’d,
hid by you, not to be found by you
at the bottom of the kitchen garbage,
but box betrayal, by the chartreuse tipped box lid sided
peeking upwards, asking, silencing screaming,
what did I do to deserve
this degrading

like the blouse now too tight that it brings stares as the buttons strain, unwelcome attention unintended,
you know it but still pretend not to see,
for you both once loved that silky guise that so
heightened the high tender, the match of your pink rose skin letting, no! making
your eyes glisten, like broken filament glass, on the sidewalk,
recalling the pleasured admiration,
rain remembered from the
prior priority of a life consisting of only
perfect gifts

so mean revert to the poseur question; this is how...

remove the human from a fixed place, whimpering-threatened,
you may hear clear the crackle cackling  of the innard shards against the misperception of a body intact,
even if you do,
no repair service you want,  can be found, see it nowhere,
is it even
anywhere advertised?

the body presumed intact is secret’d under a tactile coverlet,
holey scupperrd holy cuttered
so that the cells and bicuspids, the threads
no longer function in a tandem,
you keep it in the closet closed,
in the back, deep hid, where,
when it screams why,
it can be safe ignored,
because  ‘betrayed’ is no longer a word,
in your globe's dictionary,
the parental controls activated by you to
save your own inner child’s unconstrained confusion,
it has been removed


so the broken glass, the clothes you dressed each other,
if not weep-well,
well enough hid,
the fit is off,
the fit is off,
the coverlet ripped so bad and neither cares
an unexpected poem, unplanned, needing work
aug 4-5
Renard Jackson Sep 2018
One of those days you notice most things through yesterday's eyes
In a moment you feel distraught in someone's decision said it applies to you
Feeling blah
a place of intense competition or ruthless struggle for survival,
a gathering place for the unemployed.
They sweat for the sun and hurt for dirt, cry for work and smile to struggle.
Money accumulate and it resolve in one big circle.
Your concerns and criticism is tossed like eaten herbivores, not your biggest fear
Individual self made issues stir as you consummate with one's in the same environment.
A battle of nice and not-nice to talk, smile, converse in a suite of respect.
But allowances is as far as you allow not wanting to be consumed.
It's like a jungle out here!
Doubt to be doubted. Love and win. Assume with belief. Protect your heart. #new
They called me in to a room unfamiliar
air smelling of guilt
A vase of roses left to die on the table
"take a seat" there voices distant

I know why I am here
They do not approve of my actions
heart pounding
"we just want to ask you some questions"
I do not have your answers my mind screams out

They believe I am guilty of a crime
I believe i was helping my melting mind

"your test was positive, your actions could hurt someone"
They can't understand my actions saved someone
No one notice's when your saving yourself
One puff to ease my thoughts
One puff to them causes death
Little do they know it prevented mine

Take this pill and that pill, "It will fix you"
No thank you doc i'll stick to natures crop

Synthetics are safe says the man with a certificate on his wall
Corruption is everywhere, lies upon lies

I am in trouble for smoking a plant
He's a business man for creating addiction
I pay a fine for feeling fine for the first time tonight
He receives money for causing another to suffer a helpless plight

"Are you sorry for what you did?"
Can they hear what they just said?

I wont apologise for helping myself
I wont give in to money and decpetion
you have all be led into inception!
   layer under
         layer under
              layer of wrongful perception
Stop fighting natural progression
Let me be me, I'll let you be you.
This is a opinion piece on cannabis if you greatly disagree i respect that and me no offence. I have seen it used and used it myself for medical reasons with great results. I would never push its use on someone else but i do not believe it should be illegal for it has such good benefits with the right knowledge and careful use. I am aware it has had negative impacts on others and I do not wish to cause any harm only to express how it has effected me and how the medical system is often corrupt, prescribing all manner of synthetic drugs causing more harm then good.
All day I have stayed sitting in the rays
Not stirring or diverting my gaze
On the outside a boring, motionless shell

Inside though...                                  
That is another story I know to well
My brain is starting to swell
Bigger and BIGGER feeling it might explode!
Thought
after
Thought
I am going to implode!
A inner struggle, a constant day dream
Onlookers walk by unaware of my nightmare
Inside my brain
I feel the pain.
Struggling with overwhelming thoughts is a daily problem with Bi-polar and
one I have become all to familiar too.
Renard Jackson Aug 2018
no end like the big blue sky
Dense by shallowness for this life has Force
Conscience of oneself in predicaments that you asks questions
Mind blisters, wanting incredible to gleam impeccable
Chancing what's seems to be one chance
Give to be, although, taking can be the cause of effect
It's all for respect as to it's all for a check
All victory go to God but does the devil deserve an abject
Kids that disrespect from parents that don't "Say it wit ya chest!"
Living to die, shoot for your goal, but don't glutton over success
Induct to fake smiles no cares its been that way for awhile...
Renard Jackson Aug 2018
Long years dispute not engage with mortality
.. constant hard to please days and unforgettable nights
Time passes with the past of our condolences
Making more apologies than she notices
Pain has all the control, while anger feeds off that
Asking where are you going?! Though the responds is "I'm never coming back"
Elusively saying things I don't mean believing the obvious respectfully outseen.
"It's either that or me".  #life  
Remember the good things because the bad or does it all in the end.
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