When I first learned that no one could ever love me more than me
A world of happiness previously unseen was discovered
Because somewhere along the line of ageing and scrutiny and time
I was taught to despise myself
But I made sure I kept myself beautiful so someone would love me someday
So I could belong to someone someday
Because that’s the most important thing a little girl could ever want, right?
I was 13 the first time I was embarrassed about my body
Of course it might not be the last
And I remember stuffing my bra in the morning
Tears stinging my eyes, hoping, praying to something
That I could look beautiful enough today, braces and all
For the ruthless boys who mercilessly told me I was worthless because my *****
Weren’t big enough
And I would go home and put on a sweatshirt with my eyes closed
Deny myself the right to be shown myself
Because I didn't dare want to insinuate beauty
In regards to something so insulting as my body
But, I mean, we all end up with our heads between our knees
Because the only place we'll ever really feel safe is curled up
Inside skin we've been taught to hate
By a society that shuns our awful confidence and feeds us our own flaws
And sometimes when I need to meet the me that loves me
I can’t find her or remind her that the mirror is meant to be a curse
So that I could find her in my mind
But when he or she shouts, “Let me out!” we're allowed to listen
But it’s met by a chorus of conceited, egotistical narcissists
But since when was self-substitute a sin?
Since when was loving who we are made an offense by morons that don’t matter?
Change this physicality and that one
Don’t you dare shatter the illusion that you could ever be anything
Beyond paper-fine flesh and flashy teeth and fingernails
A code of accusations of not good enough, never good enough
Have you ever felt so numb that it hurts? Entertain me.
"*****."
You can’t surrender to them.
You've gotta remember that you’re the only thing you’ll ever truly have
And no, I don’t mean your body
Because someday that will go bad no matter what you do
I mean you
I mean the way your bright eyes go wild when you smile
And how your laugh is so melodic it’s a song
I mean the way your creativity is a compass
That leads you to what you love
And you don’t need any miracle cream to keep your passions smooth, hair free
Or diet pills to slim your kindness down
And when you start to drown in these petty expectations
You’ve gotta re-examine the miracle of your existence
Because you are worth so much more than your waistline
You are worth the beautiful thoughts you think and the daring dreams you dream,
undone and drunk off alcohol of being.
But sometimes we forget that because we live in a world where the media pulls us
From the womb, nurses us, and teaches us our first words:
"Skinny, pretty, skinny, pretty; girls, soft, quiet, pretty; boys, manly, muscles, pretty"
But I don’t care whether it’s your gender, your looks, your weight, your skin, or where your love lies.
None of that matters because standards don’t define you.
You don’t live to meet the credentials established by a madman
You're a ******* treasure whether you want to believe it or not
And maybe that’s what everyone should start looking for.
*ALL CREDITS GO TO SAVANNAH BROWN* This is not my poem, I just wanted to share it because it is absolutely amazing.