You sent my quiescent heart into a beating frenzy
A then lifeless ***** pumped itself back to life
It continues to beat at this very hour - relentless, restless
However every drop of sincere love is now replaced
It bangs against my constricting ribs, fueled by paroxysmal fury
I still find it difficult to breathe

No other melody equated your mellifluous voice
Every syllable that waltzed its way out of your lips enamored my soul
Now it turned to vexing noise that perturbs the tunnels of my ears
You are a song that does not belong in my playlist
Reverberating whispers haunt the hallways of my being
The hallways that you abandoned

Your name is etched on every wall of my mind
Its letters cavorted on the vacant space, owned the space
Each wall began to disintegrate now as your sobriquets induce cracks
Saccharine endearments quake the foundations of my sanity
But my castle of thoughts will not collapse
Commencing exhaustive repairs to extract you out of my life

Picturesque moments framed in my museum of memories
Images of your smile, of your enchanting eyes - all on display
How I wish you can watch me bathe the museum in gasoline now
The lofty flames will bring the light back in my insipid eyes
You were so quick to leave, shaming athletes on a race
Incinerating all to ash, witness how the wrathful flames emulate your pace

I want to be the words you write of a poem
as much as those of which you speak of
I want to be your rants in life
oh, let me be those endless thoughts you have

I want to be the tune you hum as you walk down the street
the adrenaline rush you get from running
the sound of hello when you see your old friends;
and that tender hug as you bid them goodbye

I want to be the the strings of your guitar
or better yet your precious violin
let me be the music in your ears
let me echo inside your head
and be the that sweet sweet melody
that gently lulls you to sleep

I want to be that 5-minute nap after a stressful study
the pause you make when you're weary or sad
the bonus scores that make you pass exams
and that guilt-free food you indulge yourself in

I just want to be those simple things in life
which brighten up your day,
and make you feel alive
in every possible way

I don't need to be the reason why you live
nor the reason why you love
I just want to be what makes you truly happy.

Remember when I told you
I'd be your friend no matter what?
That when things go wrong
And if we won't stay strong
I'd surely get mad
But I'd still be you friend
Remember?

Hey do you know how much it hurts?
To love you so deeply
But then the world seems to be against
The idea of you being with me
Or me being with you
Or us
Or no, you

The idea of you having to build your world
Around me
Trying to decode every mystery that I am
As you kiss me on the head
While I'm asleep on your shoulders

It hurts, it hurts
The way you look at me
When tears start to blur
Your almond-shaped eyes
Like a baby
You stare at me
Pleading for care and affection
Understanding
Begging me to stay
In your most silent ways

But

If things shall not go our way,
Would you still be my friend, too?

*sigh

I never thought having to write a poem
Would be this hard
When you feel like floating in mid-air
Smiling from ear-to-ear

'twas a tender
sweet
passionate

kiss.

i thought.

then i realized,

what if

it was
after all

just

a
*kiss?

I miss you.