My eyes see nothing but crosshairs
My right hand does nothing but clicks
In this cyberspace with no cares
Finally, happiness sticks

My ears hear nothing but bullets
My left hand does nothing but W,A,S,D
An experience that's as good as it gets
For at least a few hours, I'm free

My feelings are nothing but joy
My thoughts are nothing but video games
A place I can dominate a boy
Without having to say any names

Forgive and forget
forgive and forget
forgive and forget!
I can't
I can't forgive, I can't forget
Yet I can barely remember
How it felt to be happy
Before meeting you

Play with my hair
Make me high
High on ***
Not high on drugs

Make me sweat
Now make me moan
Please go deeper
And don't stop

Make it hurt
Now make me cry
And don't let
This be last time

We are teens
Yet we know how to play
How to pose and how to sweat
And don't let this play be last
Again i wanna feel your precious lust

I wish there was a manual
Telling me what to say
A speech to give to someone
To not push them away

I wish someone wanted me
The way I wanted them
Someone to fall in love with
My loneliness to stem

"You'll find someone" they tell me
But I don't want to wait
I want to find someone now
But no, I'll have to stay

The search is never over
I'll look for all my days
Who knows if I will find someone
To be my hope and stay?

It's easy for everyone
Else, they've all found they're love
A perfect match for perfect ones
A match made up above

They don't get to say that
I'll "find someone someday"
It's easy to look out on me
And with confidence say:

"You'll find your special someone
He's out there somewhere, dear"
I don't want him to be "out there"
•
•
•
•
I want him to be here.

I hate my job. All I do is destroy things - words, hopes, dreams. I used to love life. Watching people make mistakes,  I always felt like I was their second chance, their saving grace. I could help them forget the past, eradicate their errs; sometimes even move on having learned something.  But now, now I think I cause more anxiety than joy. The other day Mr. Thompson asked a student to work out a problem on the board, but they wanted to know if they were right first. No one likes to slip up but they dont realize my purpose is to erase those slip ups. Now days I only get to erase things that are right.  I think the world would be a better place if all the right things were permanent.  I think the world would be a better place if I could create...

mother
a simple word
complicated meaning

They say poetry is a way to explain the unexplainable
So here I go:

No words
No poem
No gifts

will ever fully show
my gratitude
my love
for you

But every year I try for you

Why?
Because I love you.

My mother
Amma

*** for me!* I shout
She flashes her pearly whites
the brightest smile I've ever seen
(She likes it when I talk *****)
gets wet off it     ...     soaking
                                               the streets
                                      flooded in every nook
rivers gorging car tires
     thunderstorms are our communion

*** for me! I shout
and She moans like a god   ...   boisterous
my legs pump faster now
Her cries are electric
   I can't help but feel the jolt

louder baby
She indulges
and I come
                    full stop at the corner of Broadway & Covert


one day...
              She will tire of my obscenities
  all my ~*******'s~
in a final flash She will smite me
and when I reach home
  He will be at the gate
crooked finger a compass pointing to hell
*** for me I will cry
reverent in nostalgia
I will have played the game past the final quarter
still taunting His existence

but I'll smile
content in knowing
that every action has a consequence
content in knowing
  that I learned that pre-god
   pre-conservation of energy
content in knowing
    that life taught me to run in thunderstorms
and the first time I shouted back
I felt enough energy to risk hell for it

Roses are red
Heres something new
Violets are violet
Not ******* blue