I refuse to accept that you are leaving
because you always leave
it is in your nature
and I am used to that
but this time you are going
to a place that I can not reach
and I do not know how I will make it
but ******* it, I am so happy for you
because you are getting out
and you are growing up
though you need not to
(wise beyond your years)
you will grow a garden with your words
and you will dye your hair eight different colors
before I get to see you and hold you again
and I will love you more with each passing moon
but oh my darling, my beautiful sunflower
how I am going to miss you so
every second of every single day
-
(please, don't leave
I would do anything
to keep you in my pocket
forever and always)

Pick yourself up and dust off your shoulders
because you're a soldier and have no time to rest.
You can't escape this life because you sold your soul for this
and in the next year, you'll be buried right under your feet, six feet deep.

Will it be your hell?
******* alone surrounded by nothing but chains
for years and years.
Calling out to empty shadows and swallowing dust over these times.

Will it be your heaven?
In the summer of ninety-six
with the night lite up with fireworks on the fourth.
Chasing the sparks because you're a child again.

Pick your feet up and march to the drums of your family.
You promised to always protect your family
and this is all you know to do.
Giving up your life for your brother's
is what you were trained to do.

Your heart is weak but warm.
But you will not be needing it for long.
You find peace in the night
but always keep a candle lit,
to keep an eye on your brother
because he is all there is.

Things can't be rewritten or reversed.
You've just got a confused mind
and acted out of grief.
But you're always able to rewind to the night
a bullet took your brother.

These lifeforms made a deal for you, that they knew you'd take.
They could care less about your feelings.
They could **** without warning,
but you trust them with your brother's life on this one.

So now you stand a man with a deal to die
but it's all worth it because now your brother can live.
Selling your life so he can have his back was the best birthday present
you could give.

you were summer, no
you were the thunderstorms in summer
that lit up the sky like waves, rolling
like trees, forked towards the ground with purpose
you shook my bones, hammered at my heart
you terrified me

inching towards me every second,
you got closer and closer
until you were upon me like the sadness i feel
when i'm drunk and alone and without you
in the early hours of the morning,
when sleep feels as if it will never come
and my skin sticks to the sheets that encompass me
keeping me down, attempting to keep me
grounded to this earth

i think too much, i think too much about you
this is a note, this is a letter, this is a poem
asking, pleading, with you to come home

flip me over and
find my serial
number.

redeem the
warranty
and believe
me, please.

txt it: *pls