Back and forth, left and right
We never could make up our minds,
We never could be on the same page
We always were too disengaged.
When you wanted attention
I wanted freedom
When I wanted commitment
You wanted a reason.
We spoke of love like it had no limits
One of us was always more invested.
One day we were inseparable and the next I was at your throat
One minute you had your arms around me then in a flash you would explode...
For the longest time we truly believed
That I was meant for you, and you for me,
We thought two broken souls had finally found a home
But we were even too broken for each other and the result was a cyclone.
Our love was a tragedy and I don't believe it was real
We both just wanted a heart to steal...
We lost ourselves and its sad to remember
That at one point we both made a promise of forever,
We were best friends and now we can't even speak
Because every time just brings up too many bad memories.
Your pictures make me puke and your voice gives me a headache
But at one time just thinking of you used to keep me awake,
And at one point you trusted me enough to tell me your secrets
Things I know now you wish you never revealed.
Three times you asked me to marry you and make it official
But each time I said no because I was too fearful
Terrified of you and your selfish ways
All of this **** I've said too many times, just in different ways
It just doesn't go away.

bathed in the cool light of the moon,
my sweet puppyhead and me,

sit.

under the full soft light, 
her ray’s illuminating the yard,
the woods.

footsteps crunch drying leaves,
fox, deer or foe?

waning canopy,
boughs lighter each day.

fall, majestic, peaceful
dying for another year.

plants and creatures, 
taking refuge in the deep dark void
of mother earth,
of mother nature.

squirreling away tidbits for a late winter snack,
coats blooming, thickening.

such delight, 
each night,
sitting outside,
my puppyhead and me.

quiet and solitary,
no humans 
annoying me.

silent and still
only nocturnal creatures
meandering about.

what magic,
what sacredness.
what mystical delight.
never apart,
only the ONE.

such silly confusion,
thinking a person,
separate and small,
quaking with fear.

the big deep dark mystery
laughing and jovial,
always here,
here for us all.

open your eyes, 
feel your nature,
always here,
never apart.

fearing death
fearing life,
what a silly way to live this
life!

the moment you were born,
you began dying,
what a relief,
knowing the score!

relaxing into the madness,
laughing at it all,
pure and free,
forever more, 
and not……

being,
not being,
eons of reflection,
sages and rishis
revealing the truth,
it can’t be done for you,
only you can become 
that which you are….
that which you always were.

my sweet love, my sweet life,
my puppyhead and me,
sitting here in Fall.
~~~

Sink deep your feet
the moss and muddy floor
grey with rain
the weeping moss
hanging in the trees
ravens cry, calling thee
into the starless void
of moonless canopy
a hidden place
wherein the soul illuminates
a cynosure of deeper truths
a dark that lights the way