The time has come for me to go
the truth has been made clear
within the writing on the wall
I do not belong here.

I've hidden here in shadows dim
not reaching for the light
my heart will cast no shadow now
as broken wings take flight

But rest assured that you are loved
within me you will stay
with heavy heart I leave you now
on this my dying day.

I miss you.

2. I miss you.

3. I miss you.

4. I spend two hours or maybe four wondering where you are and what exactly happened between us. I spend more time wondering about you then I do about the world.

5. I still miss you.

6. It's been over 68 days since I last saw your face, but it doesn't matter because I can still recall the way your lips felt, the way your hands touched me. I even remember the way your skin smells, I remember everything about you.

7. I read somewhere that you shouldn't beg someone to stay in your life. If they need to remove themselves allow them too. Perhaps there is more reason behind that fact than I come to justify in my own mind.

8. I think I fell in love with you.

9. I am in love with you.

10. I still miss you.

11. I still love you.

12. We were so bad for each other, but maybe love is a type of poison. One that we learn to endure.  

13. All of these are messages I wish I could send you.

14. Find happiness where ever you may be.

15. I'll still love you and I'll miss you dearly.

15. I'll be waiting for you.

You get me high as a kite
Make me wanna dance all night
And that's only when I hear from you.

You bring me down like a bomb
When we can't talk and you're gone
And that's only when I don't hear from you for a week.

You make me think
You make me feel
And I realize this may be real

You make me think
You make me feel
How on earth can this be real

You build me up
You bring me down
But I know it's all in my head
When I'm thinking alone in my bed

I know it's true that you care for me
You've opened up my heart like you had a key.
(I know it's true you care for me)

You made me think
You made me feel
How will I know if this is real?

You make me think
You make me feel
And when I see your eyes I know this is real.

As the poison ran through her veins
She started to lose control
Couldn't breathe
Couldn't talk
Couldn't move
Couldn't think about anything else.
The worst part is that she poisoned herself.

But she won't die, nor will she be okay.
Because this poison is a different kind.

The poison is hopelessness
Being let down
Negative thinking
This poison is her own creation
Specific to her
And the people she cares about can poison her just as easily as they can breathe.


Now she's sitting
Motionless
Speechless
Thoughtless
Breathless
Because the poison has circulated
And it's reached her heart.

But she won't die, nor will she be okay
Because this poison is a different kind.

She physically feels sick
She wants to die
To **** herself
To cut
Drink
Drown
Hang
Shoot
Break
And cry
But she can't.

Because this poison has paralysed her.

This poinsion has taken away
her will to breathe, not her breath itself.
Her will to move, not her mobility itself.
Her will to talk, not her speech itself.
But it has replaced every thought with that of a blade
Or a rope
Or a gun
Or a bottle
Or a pill
Or a lake
Or a building


This poison has polluted we mind and mingled with her blood. The will to **** is a part of her now and there is nothing she can do to escape that.

Despite wanting to sleep for eternity six foot under
This poison cannot **** her
Only she can
And she is close
And willing
And weak enough to attempt.

She cannot think of anything else
And it's all her fault

She created this
She started it all.
If she had succeeded last year, she wouldn't be around to have created this poison.

So until she has hit rock bottom and has a chance at succeeding
She will try to drown her demons
Suffocate her demons
Bleed herself dry of the poison
Consume enough alcohol to alter the poison

But she won't die, nor will she be okay
Because this is a different kind of poison
And she is already dead inside.

As ugly as you think you are.
You are wrong.
You're hideous
Atrocious looking
Horrifying
Scarily unattractive
Disgusting

As mean and awful as you think you are.
You are wrong.
You're disgraceful to the human race
A terrible person
A horrendous representation
A stupid waste of air an space

As messed up a you think you are
You are wrong.
You are so far gone that not even a saint could save you
So ******* up in your mind that you'd give a serial ****** killer nightmares
So doomed that your holiday spot is hell.


Worst of wishes and muh hate
Me.

What upset you?
That He chose Her over You?

                          No.

What upset you      is
That He will never have to chose between Her and You
Because
You
  are
   so
    Ugly
     Stupid
      Repulsive
       Annoying
        Pointless
         Worthless
          Unwanted
           Unnecessary
            Space waster
             Good for nothing
               Disgrace of humanity
That no one would every chose you
Especially not when given an option
  as amazing as Her
        
        And no one half as brilliant as
     He is would ever look at you
        twice


Him being nice to you means nothing - he is a kind person
You being there for Him means nothing - you were the only one online
Her being with Him means everything - he really likes her


So what upset you?
The fact that you're not worth so much as knowing your name,
   let alone choosing over someone
   else.