i always find myself at this intersection
between pain and growth
self-destruction
thats what embodies me
i can’t stay together, i can’t stay put
i revel in change
thats what makes me feel alive
the sky is burning and i feel nothing
absolutely nothing

you’re scared.
you know you’re scared.
you want this feeling.
this “going to a haunted house mid-october” feeling
where you know you’ll be afraid, but go inside the anyway.
this haunted house isn’t anything you can predict,
you know there will be sudden changes.
but you go into the house anyway
because you know no matter what happens inside,
you will come out at the end
and you will be okay.

frozen in emotion, the girl sits and stares.
her ears are ringing with the hum of his name.
her hands aren't shaking, she is motionless.
the girl is quiet & calm as she stares into his eyes;
she is taking in every line, freckle and element of his face.
everything moves in slow motion as her heart softly flutters.

the buddhists speak of soul-mates, they say if find yours; you will be serene.
no uneasiness.
no anxiety.
no apprehension.

just the tranquil river of love smoothly flowing through your veins
and the quiet, alternating heartbeats that beat with veracity.

today, i am a sponge.
use me.

they say what is good is equally as bad.
where is my good
where is yours

i will listen as your pain,
becomes mine.

i am just your sponge.

there have been too many of these same instances

too many of these same promises

that smile
i’ve seen it before

those soft words
i’ve heard them before

your trembling hand
i’ve held it before

maybe i should just let go