Self-medicate to keep the hatred down
Self-medicate to keep the ***** down
Self-medicate to keep the sadness down
Self-medicate and pick your poison
pick the one you haven't tried for a newer
buzz
for a newer feeling
for a newer hate
self-medicate, extrapolate
miss yourself and all the hate
because the devil is mine today
the devil is mine today
to do with what I please
self-medicate and fall
a spiral
a helix
something familiar to feel the feelings
something familiar to feel the people cry
self-medicate to feel your mother cry
what am I becoming today, who shall I be
a dashing rogue who doesn't care, someone alone
a dashing rogue at the bottom of an ocean
with a portal to another world where I am normal
where I matter
*self-medicate

If you enjoy something creative,
set out to do it.
Don't just live vicariously,
gain some skills.

If you fear failure,
you fear opportunity.
If you embrace imperfection,
nothing can stop you.

Do what you love.
Love what you do.
Anything shy of that
isn't worth your while.

Razor-sharp fingernails scrape layers of flesh from eyelids
Splaying them eternally open
Can't unsee what's been seen
Can't unhear the sounds
Or unsmell the odor that rots in nostrils, infecting every rose
There's no stopping when they all stink the same
Can't undo, can't undo
Safety in bile where nightmares are birthed in reality,
In places that fester like the remnants of the lids that blinded
Bleach doesn't clean untruths
Fire doesn't  burn hot enough to mask pain
Blisters seem like hope
Hope to heal
Hope to resemble something familiar
Peeling skin back with teeth
Wishing for them to bleed
When scalding tubfulls try to cleanse
the grime that sludges through a broken mind
Attached to a heart mindlessly lashed in the shame of

Love

It's that corky laugh that comes out  
when you just open you mouth.

Let it out
It's those words that you didn't think about.

it's that hug that you didn't expect
it's that rush that you didn't expect.

it's that day your eyes looked a little wider
and your skin looked a little brighter.

your high was a litter higher
and the world made no sense.

it's those moments when your mind brightened your end.
when you believed a little more.

when you've worked so hard to get there
but now it doesn't feel so sour.

Those tiny little things
Are worth living for .

in 10 years
your body will be
covered in ink
and i will look back
on the days i used to
make the most intimate
c o n t a c t
with the flawless
ivory silk you called
skin, a version of you
that was young and
pure