sitting on the edge,
letting the water rush past,
the mist crawling over my skin,
the coldness spreading over me like a trickle of rain,

but all of a sudden the trickle turns into a torrent,
washing me all over pushing everything from my head and heart,
making my body tense up and lose control,

this torrent is like a dam,
its held back but then the flood gates open,
and it all comes crashing over me,

(because **** when i think of you my body gives up all my thoughts are on you, lust is a n evil thing it is a flood and it is never ending)

then as soon as the gates were open they close,
leaving me empty of all feeling,
with the fleeting memories of you,
your voice,
your touch,
your breath against my neck,

Lust you evil ***** why do you so this when all i try do is forget you bring it all back up to the surface.

I want it gone this feeling inside
This feeling of longing
This feeling of loss
This pang of guilt

I want it gone this pain inside
This ember that burns my soul
The fire which darkens my mind

I want them gone the ghosts
Your ghosts you left them here
You left your laugh echo in my house
You left your voice in my ear
You left your ghost walking around me

I want it gone this feeling
This feeling for you
I loved you
I see you in everything I do
I hear your voice every were I go

I want it all gone
I want a clean slate
A new start
A sandbox for me to build in
I want to create new memories

I want it all gone
So you can move on
So you can live your life
So you can be happy.

I want it gone this feeling inside
These ghosts
These fires
I want you to move on and he happy.

I'm done being calm
Done being the one to back down
**** this ****
**** the lies
**** the people who hurt me
Who put me down
Who tell me that I'm worthless

**** this ****
Cos I'm done
Done with Wight on my shoulders
Done with te pain
Done with anger

**** this ****
Becuase next time I get pushed or poked
I will snap
And I will end it all

So **** this ****
The demons here and it's ready to play.

i want them gone
i want them out
i dont want to think anymore
i dont want to shake in fear at the thought of them.

nightmares

i want them gone
i want them out
i want peace and i want sleep.

Early mornings are te best time on the day,
It's quiet it's peace swallows me,
Helps me forget the pain and sorrow,
Helps me let go of the pain from the night before,
The night of nightmares.

Early mornings are the best time during th day,
It reminds me of you,
Your smile your laugh was like the the rising sun,
The cold that sends shivers up my spin is like your touch,
The sweet song birds are like your voice whispering good morning.

But now my my mornings are empty with out you,
My mornings are filled with pain from the night before the night of nightmares and pain,
So my sweet angel remover the that each morning is a new day,
A clean slate a new start,
Smile at the world and remover the the sweet songs of the birds the warmth of the sun on your skin.

Early mornings are the best time during the day.

I don't know what to think,
One day I'm happy
The next I'm exctied
And after that it all spirales down out of control,
It starts with. Nightmares,
Then the shakes,
After te cold deadness inside takes over,
So now I try not be happy because when I am it all spirales out of control,
It is easier to deal with the cold than to deal with the warmth,

So now I don't know what to think,
I don't know what to believe,
I don't know what to do anymore,
So now I'm lost and falling into the uncontrollable spiral falling out of control,
So now I don't know what to think.

i sit here at night shaking cold lifeless,
the nightmares woke me again,
nothing left for me to do but endure the panic endure the pain,
nothing left but to face the fact that i will never be rid of these painful encounters.

i sit here tears rolling down my cheeks,
tears of sadness of pain of sorrow,
there is nothing i can do to stop them no dam no structure will keep them at bay,
these tears hold my pain each drop is like acid agasint my heart and soul,
each drop makes me fall further down the whole despair.

every night i sit here hoping that the shakes won't come but they always do hoping that the nightmares wont arrive but they always do,
each night i get lost and each morning i wake not knowing where i am or what my purpose is.

i am lost.
i am falling.
i have become a ghost.