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  Jan 2017 elizabeth
Star Gazer
Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes
always chased pouring rains
just because she believed
that there's a rainbow awaiting.
She threw herself
into torrential turmoil,
ate apples that turned spoilt
because an apple a day
kept the doctors away.

She is now nineteen
and no matter how
many years it has been
she'd visit the same sights
visit the same scenes
waited for the storm
to clear up.

Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes,
threw them into the air
hoping that they'd reach space,
but she's come to realise
it's all a mistake.
Sometimes she waited for the storm
to end,
shelter and defend against the rain,
but sometimes,
she would question the rainbow;
and this brought upon more questions,
on whether angels were built
with halos
or whether angels merely bought them.

She told me once
'This isn't really living is it?
Chasing the pouring rain
hoping to find something
that will keep me sane.
Throwing paper planes
that fall to the ground
when the air is gone
and the two merely
washed away.'

Her name was Lucy,
Folded paper planes,
and she couldn't
ever understand
where her life was
supposed to begin.

So a reminder from me:
Fold your paper planes
let them soar
and keep them afloat,
because one day
they will guide you to
a rainbow.
  Jan 2017 elizabeth
Star Gazer
In a crowd of faces, some old, some new
But I shouldn't feel as lonely as I do.
  Jan 2017 elizabeth
Star Gazer
I imagined your eyes
a million different times;
I remember seeing stars
within each and every stare
But now I can't recant the thought,
Universes may sometimes implode
The same way a hurting heart
keeps the heartbeats on hold;
And sometimes muffled long enough
You'll realise the screaming silence
is a sign that 'you no longer love'.
For some it is sadness, some it is joyous;
But for me, it is closure.

I imagined your eyes
a million different times;
and I'm glad I got to see
all that was stored behind
the blue sky you had for eyes.
Our chapter was never mine,
It had been yours all along
And with memories tarnished and gone,
I can only do so much as to say thank you.
  Jan 2017 elizabeth
Star Gazer
I'm happy that she's happy
if I tell myself that long enough
maybe I'll be able to convince myself
till I am finally fit to say farewell.
I've lied to myself in millions of ways
just to keep the demons behind
as though blinded by lies kept me alive
I wanted all of what I tell myself to be true.

I'm happy that she's happy
because it is the only way I tell myself
that I'm allowed to finally move on
but history always proves me wrong
because I don't know how to let go of what's gone.

You left me
&
I told myself
I was fine with that.

...

As long as you are happy.
  Jan 2017 elizabeth
Star Gazer
I promise you,
Scars will heal
So don't be scared
To just feel.
If you stumble,
Fall apart
I'll pick you up,
my bright star.
  Jan 2017 elizabeth
Ntwari
I have seen many walk by
And they all caried something I'll never have again
A smile
A genuine one

Is that too much to ask for?
Just one moment of pure joy
As if I was kissed by the lips of bliss herself?
Is that too much to have?

Perhaps it is
Maybe I should give up
Let my weeps go unheard
Let my sould wither away
Let my heart shrivel under life's grasp

Maybe I'm just cursed
To lurk in the dreams of the past
Just for a glimpse of hope
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