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Sailor J Nov 2015
my love, have you been thinking about it?

about the way we made stars appear
or how we made the world spin so fast we thought it might fall out of orbit?

darling, have you been daydreaming about it?

about the way we fit together,
or maybe about that time we set fire to everything with our fervor?
everything was burning and i was lost in you.

baby boy, have you been picturing it ?

the way our bodies began writing a symphony,
and how we were left so utterly breathless after the ******,
it took hours for us to breathe again?

i can remember your heart beat so fiercely against my chest,
and i swear to GOD i felt it reach out and grab me by the throat.


(i can still feel the imprints it left on my skin)

oh baby, we were everything.

so tell me,
how could you possibly leave me like it was **nothing.
Sailor J Jun 2015
As a young girl,
I was taught that I only needed 3 things in life to be happy.
First, I needed a husband. I needed his love and I needed him to take care of me. I also needed to make him happy so that he would never leave me.
Second, I needed a family. I was told having a family would be the greatest joy I’d ever experience and would keep me satisfied for the rest of my life.
Third, I needed a beautiful home that other people envied.
Well..
I grew up.
I experienced all these things
but yet,
I am more unhappy now than I have ever been.
My home feels less like a home,
and more like a prison.
because I am bound to it.
I am bound to that home,  
simply because I am a woman and this is what women do, right?
Because my gender defines me and confines me to this one lifestyle.
After all,
this is what my mother and her mother did,
and they seemed content.
But why should this be it?
I don’t even know who I am!
Ask me what I do,
I’ll tell you
“nothing, I’m just a housewife”.
Ask me about myself,
and I’ll tell you about my family.
because I am not my own person.
I belong to the stigma that my gender should define who I am
and put boundaries on my capabilities.
That I am limited to certain tasks
and I cannot be anything more than I am expected to be.
I have created this illusion that I am satisfied
when I am not.
I am disappointed and I’m wondering if this is it.
Is this really what I am made for?
My life is like clockwork.
Everyday I go through the routines,
over and over,
silently praying for the day when I am free to be whomever I wish.
But for now,
I am nothing.
I am only a housewife.

— The End —