it was tuesday
when our physics teacher told us
you weren't coming back anymore.
"what?", i said.
i didn't hear him right,
i convinced myself.

they went on talking about the dates
and funerals
and wakes
but i didn't hear a word.

all i heard was the violent beating of my heart
and the rhythmic pounding of my head
and how i never, ever wanted to feel this way again.

and i wondered, if they knew,
that they'd have to bury me soon, too.