they look at me with puzzled expressions
laughing and thinking it’s cute
how i am such a silly girl
for being afraid to fall in love again

i want to think it’s silly,
that this is all just a stupid game, like they say, and
i’m just being naïve about something
that a young girl like me doesn’t understand

i want to be able to smile
and have someone think that mine
is the most beautiful smile in the world;
that sunshine exists in the gaps between my teeth
and beauty lurks in the circles under my eyes
(even though i cringe when i see myself
so raw, so imperfect, so flawed)

i crave for you to prove me wrong

i want to be able to love unconditionally
to be able to hold someone’s hand and feel connected
instead of wondering if there’s another pretty ******* his mind,
someone who isn’t me;
i want to be so blindingly in love with you
that we are too busy being in love while watching the sunset
to notice it turn into a sky full of stars

i want to look at you and see the entire universe
instead of seeing myself and something like an unknown planet,
waiting to be discovered
(but you never let me in)

i am just a naïve girl who still wishes on fallen eyelashes
and keeps her heart hidden under her sleeve
because of fear that someone might abuse it,
or even worse-
lose it
and that’s when i realized that maybe
they were right,  love is just a stupid game,

but i am tired of always having to lose
(for once, please let me win)