It's terrible,
when you stumble upon the realisation that you're not good enough.
But when you conjure up that thought and it slowly starts to creep
from the back of the darkest places,
like fog,
submerging from the depth of the forest,
settling in every corner it could reach,
unexpectedly in the middle of the night.

When the sun rises and daylight floods the room.
You wake up now fully aware that it's everywhere.
surrounding you.
suffocating you.

You're drowning,
and there is no method of escaping your thoughts.
because it would mean to escape yourself.

Then you're left to wonder..
was it because you were doubtful?
Holding back?
So unsure?
Terrified to face the harsh truth and what comes with it?

Is it because you flee from anything and everything that resembles a potential crime scene?
Or is it so agonising to put up a performance all the time?
Attempting to appear assertive and overruling.

But keeping up with appearances can make you lose yourself along the way.
Yet you convince yourself it's not the reason why you feel so scared.
...because you already feel so lost.

Weren't you deserving?
Convincing?
Influential?
Worthy of...anything?

Weren't you enough?