Im debating on how heavy a soul could get before your self esteem sinks. I've been finding the bottom of bottles more comforting than being in a room full of friends. I find being alone is much More suffocating and deadly than lying in a coffin. I find myself staring at stars wondering how things so romanticized spend and eternity alone. I find mirrors terrifying I think hand shakes are vice grips in a trap Hugs are land mines covered with welcome mats And smiles are razor blades. And yet nothing can replace the emptiness I harbor in me like a tumor resting carelessly on my heart.