I loved the way you'd smile
It could light up the whole town
Although I haven't seen it in quite awhile

I loved the way you'd laugh
It was so happy, so true
But I didn't know what you put yourself through

I loved the colour of your faded blue eyes
They seemed to make the world disappear
Little did I know you didn't want to be here

I loved the way you'd hold my hand
When I was feeling low
But I didn't know you'd soon let go

I loved the sound of your voice
When you called me late at night
But I didn't know you would soon end your fight

I loved the way your eyes lit up
When you heard your favouite song
You haven't listened to it in so long

I loved the way you'd write down all your feelings
In the journal under your bed
Did all those thoughts really go through your head?

I loved the way I thought I knew you
We were supposed to best friends
Why would you let that end?
But
I didn't love how you faked your smile and your laughter was always forced

I didn't love how your cheeks were stained with tears and gaining weight became your biggest fear

I didn't love the fact that you stopped eating and never left your room

I didn't love how your eyes seemed sad and the fact that nobody knew

I didn't love how you marked up your wrist with a knife and a blade and the last choice that you made

I didn't love how you never got help, because you said you couldn't be saved

I didn't love how you left me, I thought you would stay

I didn't love the words you wrote on the day you said goodbye and the fact that you always cried

I didn't love the fact that you didn't answer my calls that afternoon

I didn't love how I found you with a gun to your head

I didn't love how I was too late, you were already dead

-Becca Harris