It makes me sad that I can't tell
about all the things that have happened
since we last spoke.

Like: "I've started to smoke."
And you'd tell me to "be careful,"
even though it's ***, not cigarettes.

I finally have a job that wasn't easy to get.
It's that barbecue place I told you about-
the one that hired me in the summer

when we were still together.
I wish you read the poems I wrote you,
and at the same time I'm glad you didn't,

because in them are a lot of things I only admitted
with word and on paper.
Like: "I loved you...

and still do."
I'm not sure if you broke my heart
or just hardened it against everyone frozen.

I was thinking about you most when...
I was going to try to think of something,
but never mind,

because I realized I think about you all the time.
You were my heaven on earth, but thanks to God,
without you, the world's hell.