i ****** up.* the proof is
everywhere.
you won't say it but it's obvious and
we both know it is.
we both know it is and yet
neither will talk about it so instead we dance
around the subject.
tip toe around the tension. until
the silences are deafening and
the unspoken words threaten to choke us.
i've never been all that good
at this kind of thing. keeping quiet.
or keeping strong. the cold shoulder.
so i keep asking. and
grasping at straws.
hoping. that you'll tell me off.
or chew me out.
anything that admits that something is wrong.
that admits that i ****** up.
something that breaks this tango of tension
and silences the silences.
"i ****** up" i say.
i've never been all that good
at this kind of thing. keeping quiet.