i think about the way your lips taste from time to time when im lying awake and i can choke down the guilt because i belong to another boy and it might break his heart if he ever knew but my heart is made of steel only breaking when i choose it to and sometimes late at night when i think about the scars on your upper arm and the ones that spelt constellations on your neck reminding me of galaxies hiding in your skin i try to remember your lips on mine - but i've forgotten the way you t-t-taste and if your lips are pink or red and if the last time we ever kissed they were dry or sticky with something other than us i was drunk with eyes rolling and tears threatening, put off spirits i feel sick when i think about you and all those things we did and didn't do and i don't regret a thing -not a single ******* second but sometimes i swear i still wear the tear stains on my cheeks and the bruises on my ribs and i lay awake staring at ceilings thinking about your skin on mine from time to time i cant choke down the guilt because i belong to a boy and i let him press his skin against mine and if he ever reads this i think he will be done with me and my permanent storm clouds and shaking palms because sometimes broken things aren't worth fixing and you made me into one of those