What is this dance we do?

How did your tender caress turn to such a cold and empty glance?
Was it is that you truly feel when all you tell me is fine?

I’m not fine.  I miss you.  The sound of your voice,
It once leapt for me, now it’s flat and hollow
Your touch, at once both innocent and naughty,
Now you recoil from me, as if my touch burns you.

You burnt me, just not how you think,
Do you feel nothing anymore, was it too much for you?
Too quick?  You always said that you only hurt those around you,
That you never wanted anyone to get close, it cut you, and you bore
Those cuts with pride, laughed as you joked about the pills and the *****.

I thought you’d see that in me there was a respite from the pain
Pain we both have shared, you let me be me, showed me that there
Was hope and joy in this world.  I helped you to let out some of the
Darkness that you kept, that you held so tight, that you deserved to be
happy.  We had a brief time in heaven, and now I’m in hell.

Can’t you see through my forced smile, my pained laugh, to the
Hurt and fear that is all that is left of a heart discarded so quickly.  
You Say it isn’t easy for you, but you hide it so well.  
All I know the ocean of Anguish that is my world without you in it.  

I long for your touch, your laugh, your smile.  I don’t want to go back
The gray world of what we had before, the little lies, the half-truths
Hiding what was Really going on in our lives.  

You told me of how much you miss him, can’t go a day without hearing
From him—do you remember when you said that to me?  But now you
Say it with love, with care and concern.  With me, it was like a curse,
Angry at yourself for feeling that way about anyone.  Did you see the
flash of pain in my eyes when you said that?  Hear the sudden intake of
Breath, notice the tightness in my chest, the ache in my core for someone
who I’ll never have again?  Did you see my soul die a little more that day?

Now we just go through the motions, I play the happy clown, you the old friend
Shadows of what we once were - bit actors in a pathetic play, who would pay to
See this two-bit drama?