i remember how we first started talking
you sounded so nice yet intimidating
and i guess i was already attracted by then
i remember how i fell and what made me fall
it was all the small things
it was the moments we shared
i remember the way you say hello when you answer the phone
and the different tones you have depending on all your different moods
and i remember, how each and every tone sounds like
i remember the different laughs you have
and how horrible it could sound sometimes
but i loved it all
because it made me laugh too
i remember how much you love nuts and your top three favorites
macadamia, almond, hazelnut
i remember your love for snakes
you would send me pictures and videos of them
you learnt about them in class and you would get home and call me to tell me everything
oh actually you do that every single day
for your every single module
the passion you had in your voice
gets me smiling all the time
and i would just keep silent and listen to you
and when you were done i would say i love you
and i could hear you smile when you say that you love me too
i remember the way you would sit and study when you are stressed
i remember the way you study
i remember your favorite brands
i remember how you would ask me to call and accompany you as you do your laundry and how friendly you were when you bumped into people
i remember our **** competitions and i actually remember how some of yours sounded
it was disgusting
but i loved you more than ever
i remember the way your eyes changed when your emotions changes
i remember how they would look at me and say a thousand words to tell me how much you love me
and i would do the same
then i remember how i would close my door
switch off the lights
due to the time difference the night would still be young for me but not for you but you would wait for me
then i would call you
and sometimes you would cry cos we didnt manage to talk the whole day and you missed me so much
so did i (i still do)
i would then sing you to sleep with my horrible singing
then in between my singing i would ask you to drink water cos i was afraid you were not drinking enough and i would always remind you that our *** has to be transparent not yellow and it cracks you up every single time
so you will drink and i remember how it sounds like when you drink from your bottle and the stupid sounds you would make while drinking and how you would giggle cos you found it funny
and when you start saying **** in every single sentence you say
i knew you were sleepy so i would keep singing and singing
till i could hear you breathe heavily
and i would call your name and there will be no reply
then i would say good night and i would beg you to wake up the next day
cos i need you
i should have hung up after you fell asleep but i didnt
i listened to you sleeping, breathing heavily and steadily
sometimes snoring so loudly
sometimes sleeptalking in some foreign language
that was what completed my day and night

i remember so much still
and as much as i want to forget them
these little moments and things about you
add up to all of you
and its the only way i could have you during the loneliest of times.