It's silly how I found you so weird
How I laughed silently at how lame your jokes were
How I cried silently at how I had to explain how nothing was your fault

It's silly how I regret, yet constrain myself
Because as much as I think of you,
I hate you for the things you said.

It's silly how you have no idea, sillier that you probably never will
But I never want to see your face again,
Although you made me smile.

You made me feel things when I didn't know how to,
And it makes me happy sometimes.
The other times, I hate you for using me.

And sometimes, I hate you for messing around,
I also hate you for killing my self-esteem.
You could call it self-torture,
But I rather stay away,
Than to allow you to grow flowers in my heart,
After pouring acid all over the garden,
*Twice.