when I was younger,
my idea of pain was so very limited,
it was
a garden of roses
in a world full of thorns

one thousand skinned knees
and
five hundred sprained ankles
could not even begin to compare
to what I felt,
the day you left

my body was broken
my heart no longer belonged in my chest
my mind was dead,
and every single thought of you
ripped
and
burned
and
decomposed
the skin
that I hadn't already gotten to

and these pain killers,
have always worked for
skinned knees
and
sprained ankles

but not today

so I'm raising my dosage
to a few handfuls

hoping this pain will go away