I sit here crying.
Vomiting.
Smoking.
Dying.

I have no reason
For my sadness
For my anger.
But I am crippled by it.

I cough
The taste of poison
Trailing on my lips
Like paint on a window.

I'm not afraid to die.
Not anymore
You changed that for me.
Thank you.

Thank you for breaking me.
Crushing the final pieces of my heart.
The funniest **** part.
Is that you broke me by not speaking.

So I sit unknowing
Shaking
Hallucinating
Relapsing

The blood pours
The smoke swirls
The pills fall
And I'm in the center of it all

"Are you okay?"
A kind woman asks me
Truly concerned.
And I startled myself with my reply.

I looked up at her smiling.
It looks like I'm baring my teeth.
My eyes not quite able to focus
Tears smearing my makeup.

I reach towards her touching her
To see if she is real, she is.
And I laugh.
Throwing my head back.

Screaming, crying and laughing.
No I'm not okay.
I'm not sane.
I'm not going to survive this.

But that's okay.
We are all born to die.
And die we shall.
But I'm dying laughing.