I chose the steps as my place to write
Because the steps are my place where I sit and think night after night.
My never ending thoughts of blood pouring from my arm
Physically inflicting myself with enough harm
To end this life all together
Because let's be honest nothing lasts forever.
But tonight my steps are an analogy
For everything that could possibly be
Because although they are nothing but a stairwell
They paint a mental picture for me of descending into hell.
I know it's only to the basement that they lead
But I panic and begin to plead;
"Dear God if you would
Free my soul from only the things that you could.
I feel that my sins have caused too much heart ache
That maybe it would be a mistake
To help me at all."
Because I'm just a simple girl who took a great fall
Out of my saviors hands
And into the corrupted land.
Night after night I say I apologize
But I feel that it's nothing but lies
Because I only repeat the same sins
Without change time and time again.
And yet I still ask for forgiveness
To create this temporary internal bliss
That will flee my heart
Faster than a flying dart.
Because my mind is black
Tainted too much to ever go back
To it's original form.
Therefore I am stuck in a dorm
With death as my lover and roommate
And a nightly date.
Time to get ready
Because me and death, we're going steady.