It feels like a dream, only this time it’s not;
I can’t will myself awake and sit in the forced
silence my four walls ‘scream’ until the nightmare fades
no;
There is no uncontrollable shaking and cold sweat
I can close my eyes and open them a thousand times but nothing changes;
The nightmare doesn't just disappear…
My sister still sits in the next room crying hysterically
As her boyfriend screams “Give me my **** keys Kaela, why can’t you trust me?!”
The paper thin walls make it feel as if i’m in the same room as them-
Just hiding in the closet or corner watching in on their lovers quarrel
But flashbacks of my ex crowd my mind,
They’re too prevalent, impossible to ignore
Their loud voices dissipate into the background and become as soft as whisper
The only noise I can clearly hear is the man in most of my nightmares
His hand around my mouth so tight I can taste the salt of his skin
His other on my throat so he can play God, determining when I get to breathe
It now marks three hours since I've sat in bed just listening to them argue-
My arms wrapped tightly around my legs pulling my knees into my chest and hanging my head low
The nightmare won’t stop…
Because there is no waking up from reality.