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Jun 2014
fades in. there's laughter and cheers found amidst the new ties between the two that multiplies into an odd number of 5. it's late with dim lighting, character 1 takes shelter with character 2. conversations that are kept for caffeine indulging individual ensue. they mumble about their fears and thoughts and pacify each other with sentences that caress ankles like waves. end scene.

cut to the early morning scene that trails onto the lunch time crowds, character 1 and 2 interlinked regardless of how fast the clock ticks. promises about the water being thicker than blood made and hands held before the bell rang. native and young fingers, interlocked, close. 'i'll see you later.' only one word could be used to describe that tone - vibrant like a shade used to describe sunflowers. end scene.

times past like old photographs piling up to my knees on the ground and the scene it fades in different hues and voices. not the familiar ones that belonged to a multiple of 2. no, they're sitting across the hall oblivious to the electricity running beneath us. same faces with different stories while i took my leave, the prolonged leave that continues as my absence runs from a sick leave to an exit. i think about it from time to time, the water in my palms weigh more than the blood running through these veins. stories with alternate endings that continue to exist despite putting the book away, end scene.

cue flashback that's tainted with a days old dust, i looked at the pale blue ocean swirling beneath us like the hidden tales buried. emotions locked away by those who turn a blind eye and are too caught up with their bargaining of the 'fittest' competitions. the place i used to hold on the shelf, removed for bits and pieces of lives around me being carried out without the main protagonist. the waves stayed as they slowly became nothing but a smudge on a watercolour canvas, like the small mark you all left on my existence. no chances to say goodbye even though i practiced it to myself, under my breath from time to time. it falls out of my mouth and lands oddly. never expected but then again is anything really ever? the silence was the print on the answer sheet that the group left in my mind, filling up the void that now takes it place.
the distance between us      and me.
voice like a overused tire by the roadside, not to be missed as is drowned out by the rapid voices that fall into place like a waterfall. as we left that island behind it was really just me who left it all behind, ties broken, water spilt into puddles on the pavement. ‘goodbye.’, voice is soft and isn't heard by those surrounding, not like it ever was to begin with. fade out.

(((( water evaporates, blood leaves a stain))))
knives pressed into my spine is nearly like a regular tune that comes on through my headphones. fear that cripples the living daylight out of me and resolves with me living in the darkness for a week odd. unexpected, once more. then again wasn't morals plastered with words in neon encoding, 'expect the unexpected'. played me out better than a monopoly game and faster than a game of UNO.
detached and without a cause, lacking the need to put on a life jacket to face the indigo currents that leave a bruise in a similar hue.
roll the credits boys, there's nothing to see here.
trying repeatedly was one-sided and drenched in thoughts of my own that formed clouds above your head that was rooted to the ground. i am so out of breath trying to race through makeshift bright-light stores in the night when it fuels your adrenaline and it's just a chase. it's a one way tug-of-war and no one's trying to win me over. wouldn't want anyone to shower on your beach cocktail party now, would we? an emotional imbalance would be such a bother. unable to mimic your laughs but to sympathise with your cries in the bitter nights. disappearing faster than it hits the pond's surface without a trace, nobody remembered nor tried to fish it out with a net of memories.
it's 2am and i can't even hear myself think and --
the whole routine of silhouettes watching me take my leave without any say reminds me of the insignificance present through my veins. no requests to stay for a few days, a week maybe and hopefully even longer. maybe people wind up being more important to me than i am to them.
orion j
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orion j
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