I am so confused about what I need right now to be OK.
To get better, stop the bad habits and get healthy.
Maybe I only need some guidance and reassurance.
Maybe I need more.
Maybe old habits are just getting in the way.
Maybe I am just stupid  after all.
Maybe I don't actually deserve to know the difference.
Maybe I am scared to let myself be "OK"
because being in crisis mode is so familiar and I'm so used to it.
I have no idea what to think tonight.