on your 18th birthday
i wrote you a poem
with shaking hands
i read it aloud to you
swallowing my fear between each stanza
you told me you loved it, loved me

today it's your 19th birthday
and in keeping with traditions
i wrote you a poem that you will never read:

when i met you it was almost like
i had known your face
from when i was a child
you were a familiarity
that wrapped me up
your voice was in the songs that i adored
your face was the dream i didn't want to wake from
your words were in love poems
that i had written before i met you
but did not understand
i loved you whole
it was exhausting
i love you still
it is exhausting
most of all i miss you
i hope i always think of you
somehow and somewhere
across the ocean
a different time zone
for every birthday that passes you
i hope it's happy, i hope you think of me too