Should I call myself a traitor For not honoring my needs When I fall for you again When I'm struggling to breathe
In the pool of old regrets I'm still asking what it means As I'm sinking to the floor As I'm drowning to be free
I lament my current ignorance For forgetting certain things Like when I lay down in the dirt From admitting our defeat
There's no basis for return If you're always in my dreams I had finally let you go Until I ruined everything
I shouldn't play with fire When my heart is made of weeds But I was so desperate for attention And the comfort it can bring
So I'll call myself a traitor Cause I'm only hurting me When I'm crawling back to you And am on my hands and knees
In this poem I lament getting back with the girl who caused me so much heartache. It's as if all my effort into moving on from her and recovering was for nothing, because as soon as I talked to her again, I fell right back to square one. After the fact, I have adjusted and just keep my distance but in that moment, I had much regret of communicating with her after years of pain.