It has been so long since I last saw you,
Haven't thought about you in a while so I thought I was good
Recently I have been asking myself why I think about you so much-
I think about all our shared memories and how I was touched

I thought I had no problem moving on and forgetting our past;
I did not expect that my lingering feelings for you would last
"Why couldn't I just accept your love and stay?"
I have been asking myself this question every day

I have forgotten your voice, your looks, your smile
My memories of you have been cast away in a messy pile
I miss the way you would understand,
Listen carefully and be there whenever I needed a hand

I miss the way you could read my mind;
Know what to say even when the words were hard to find
I miss the way you could put a smile on my face;
Make the stresses go away and help me forget my mistakes

You'll never read this but I want you to know:
The truth behind my decisions, and that I was loyal
The letters we exchanged were few but meaningful,
They are the only things I can currently cling onto

I hope that you have been doing well, I really do
Staying away from you is probably the best thing I can do for you
I am really sorry for the hurtful, regretful things I have done to you,
Although you say that it's fine, I still feel so guilty for what ensued

Mixed feelings start overwhelming me as I am seeing you soon,
Am I nervous, excited, or over the moon?
I don't know how you feel but I hope to set things right again,
Maybe we can be good friends again if my feelings I can constrain

21/11/2021