I used to work in a factory once with a lot of girls
One day the girls they were talking about this guy who apparently used to **** sheep
They called him a Sheepshagger
Of course being young at the time and coming from a rather sheltered background I suppose
I'd never heard of such a thing, and was well... amazed!!!
Hell I thought, you could really get an education listening to these girls
(I'm in with a fast crowd here)
I didn't know you could **** a sheep,
Just goes to show if you don't know about something you probably won't indulge in it.
Anyway, the girls went on "Typical men, disgusting, a bunch of animals, they'd jump on anything, no better than dogs"
The funny thing was, the way my mind works or turns things around
I couldn't help thinking
'But isn't it a poor reflection on the women of this town
That a guy would rather go out with a sheep
Than go out with one of you guys'
And then I thought, imagine your girlfriend bringing you down to a field
And you're standing there at the gate the two of you
And then she gives you the Big... the Big Ultimatum
"Choose!!! It's Me or the Sheep!
And you look at her with all that intensity and drama on her face
And then you look over the gate at the sheep grazing peacefully and idyllically in the meadow
You look at her and then back at the sheep
The answer to her question in the balance,
Suddenly a ray of sunlight comes down through the heavens
Illuminating one particular sheep
You watch in awe and think... it's... it's the Golden Fleece
You turn to your girl and say
"I got to be true to myself, to my Nature's promptings
Darling! I'll always love you
But those sheep their just so...so irresistible"
And with that you hop over the fence and start running after your favourite sheep
A picture of unbridled Joy and Happiness as you pursue your dream love.....

Y'know, just in passing, there's some very **** looking trees close to where I live
But you gotta be careful, yea! you don't wanna catch the old, the old dry rot.