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May 2021
My aunt asked how I felt
She asked after I broke up with him
I thought about it and sat there
Stumbling
Struggling to put my heavy thoughts into words

My head told me to do it
My head also spoke against the idea

My heart
The part of me which hurt the most
It said my choice was right
But screamed in pain
In the unbridled anguish of grief
Of loneliness
Of hurt

She asked if I still felt my choice was right
If I regretted it
Would I go back

Would I
If I could go back
Would I change this action
If I could go forward with him again
Would I...

Heart says yes
I hurt him
I could help
I could fix this

Fix what
Fix the temporary pain,
No,

Heart says no
This was right
This choice was right
It would not be good to go back now
Cause more pain, deter healing
What would it fix
Nothing

Head says yes
He was good to me
He loved me
I loved him
We were happy
Head says yes

Head says no
We had our differences
Our difference in religion
In region
I would have hurt him later
Our arrows didn't line up
I was fooling myself that they did
Blindly hoping to see change
Seeing change when none was there

With my head pulling my heart
Heart pulling my head
What was I to do but pray
Reflection on a breakup and Gods hand in it
Magnolia
Written by
Magnolia  F
(F)   
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