I always saw change
holding hands with pain
I thought it was scary
and crushing
and hurtful

I thought to myself
"then just let me be
let me cuddle my demons in the darkness
let them take a hold
let them make my choices
let them keep me
in their hands
ready to disappear
no trace left behind"

Let me be abused by darkness
Let it change my thoughts
to keep me chained
to the same ones
that say I'm not good enough
and it would be easier
to just force myself awake
by bleeding out
or falling off
or shutting down

But change doesn't
mean pain in itself
It means rebirth
It means experience
It means growth
It means becoming
who you actually already are
without painful thoughts
like phantoms haunting
your days and mind
and ways of acting
and not taking care of your own self

It means learning
the value of the life
you hold in your hands
and the potential
you hold in yourself

Change doesn't mean pain
Change means light