i dont know who my childhood best friend was;
or is .

i remember her silky hair and pigtails we'd wear
and our baby blonde hair,
i miss you
i miss you.
and furthermore i miss me too

i miss the quiet in my head
before it was filled with disease,
before darkness stuck under my fingernails
before my lies began to rot my teeth
i thought i missed you.
im sorry,
i think i just miss me