I knew from the ******* start it would go no further than what it was. There would be no dates, no hand-holding, no declarations of love while sitting under a beautiful sunset at 7:02pm on a Sunday.
Those things are her's, have been her's for seven years and probably will be for seven more.
But **** did you make it seem as though I was worthy of those things, that I could hold your hand, and take you on dates, and tell you that I love you under a beautiful sunset at 7:02pm on a Sunday.
And **** did it hurt, **** does it hurt that you gave me something so new, something so strong that I forgot what I knew from the ******* start:
you can never love me. you don't want to love me. you WILL never love me.
I was just for fun, but she's for forever.
I knew I couldn't do casual, and I ended up exactly where I knew I would if I tried.